Tim Ferguson
The Ferguson Report: Hydroxymorons, and rugby scratches its tackle
“HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE MADE ME STUPID!” A gullible dingtwerp has incorrectly blamed his gormless thugwittery upon the drug hydroxychloroquine. He guzzled disinfectant saying, “It’s...
The Ferguson Report: Biden forgets himself, Trump muzzles his mask
JOE BIDEN SO DISORIENTED HE’S VOTING FOR JOE BIDEN The Democrats’ 77-year-old presidential hopeful Joe Biden plans to vote for himself –...
The Ferguson Report: Conspiracy theories edition
PROTESTERS AGAINST LOCKDOWN PUT IN LOCKUP Melbourne’s Parliament House was swarmed by protesters chanting that coronavirus is a conspiracy, vaccines contain gluten...
The Ferguson Report: Schools open wide and say 3Rs, but not for long
SCHOOLS TO RE-OPEN SO THEY CAN RE-CLOSE THEN RE-OPEN THEN RE-CLOSE ETC… Prime Minister Scott Morrison wants all public schools to return...
The Ferguson Report: Only fake news would take Donald Trump seriously
ENTIRE TRUMP PRESIDENCY MEANT SARCASTICALLY The White House claims the speeches of US President Donald Trump are written to boost the fading...
The Ferguson Report: Turnbull’s book is a bit rough but very absorbing
TURNBULL MEMOIR SOLVES TOILET PAPER SHORTAGE Former PM Malcom Turnbull’s memoir, A Bigger Puncture, is highly absorbent once you’ve wrung out the...
The Ferguson Report: We’d all better mind that mindless mindfulness
WHO’S WHO? US President Donald Trump’s claim the World Health Organisation has “failed in its basic duty and must be held accountable”...
The Ferguson Report: Bishop becomes a pawn of the COVidiots
ANTI-FACTS ARE BECOMING INFECTIOUS An anti-vaccination activist has declared the coronavirus is an endangered species that deserves to live. Climate sceptics claim...
The Ferguson Report: Comrade Morrison puts budget in the Red
PM CALLS FOR SOCIALISM-DISTANCING The ‘conservative’ Morrison government denies its stupendous socialist splurge is ‘socialist’. A spokeswoman throwing money to pigeons said,...
The Ferguson Report: Corvid-19 gives climate crisis the cold shoulder
POTUS STANDS SHOULDER TO SHOULDER WITH ADVISERS TO URGE SOCIAL-DISTANCING US President Donald Trump wants the US to be opened up and...