Tim Ferguson
The Ferguson Report: Polling suggests majority of voters just glad it’s over
AS THEY CAMPAIGNED, SO SHALL THEY LEAD Whoever wins the election, Australians expect the Prime Minister to continue touring the nation hairdressing,...
The Ferguson Report: Something shiny this way comes to distract us from the election
VOTERS’ ATTENTION SPAN SHRINKING DUE TO – OH LOOK, SOMETHING SHINY! The attention span of Australian voters has shrunk to momentary levels...
The Ferguson Report: Rate rise blamed on previous lack of rate rises
PM BLAMES RATE RISE ON LACK OF RATE RISES Prime Minister Scott Morrison has denied responsibility for the economy’s triple-whammy head-bang reach-around...
The Ferguson Report: What to give the billionaire with everything? The parliamentary crossbench
SOME RUSSIAN OLIGARCHS ARE MORE DEAD THAN OTHERS This year, six Russian gas industry oligarchs have died mysteriously. The Kremlin says their...
The Ferguson Report: Both Sky News viewers say election debate ‘too left wing’
Scott Morrison and Anthony Albanese had a debate broadcast on Sky News only, saving Australians from having to watch it. Sky News...
The Ferguson Report: Bye, George! That’s a nice payout you’ll pocket
GEORGE CHRISTENSEN OUT OF THE FRYING PAN AND INTO THE CHIP FRYER Rogue maverick rebel malcontent pariah MP George Christensen has defectively...
The Ferguson Report: Anthony Albanese’s ‘small target’ theory results in actual invisibility
PUTIN DOWNPLAYS ‘WAR CRIMES’ AS ‘MILITARY EXERCISE CRIMES’ As Ukraine suffers sickening war atrocities, Russia claims its forces aren’t even there. “Ukraine?...
The Ferguson Report: Good news on housing for those who can’t afford houses
AND THE WINNER IS … CHRIS ROCK’S CAREER Psychologists say Will Smith’s slapping of Chris Rock was caused by watching too many...
The Ferguson Report: Dutton has a bad case of Ghost Bats in the belfry
IF IT LOOKS LIKE DUTTON AND SOUNDS LIKE DUTTON, IT’S DUTTON AT ALL Defensive Minister Peter Dutton has announced the latest plane...
The Ferguson Report: Albanese not pretending to be somebody else, just nobody in particular
ALBO MAKEOVER AND OUT FOR A DUCK Labor leader Anthony Albanese has undergone months of fitness training, hair styling and Spec-Saving. This...