Tim Ferguson
The Ferguson Report: Special ‘worldwide rally for freedom from my family’ edition
FREEDOM MARCH UNITES FASCISTS, COMMUNISTS & WELLNESS EXPERTS Last Saturday, the extreme left, extreme right and extremely bored marched to stop the...
The Ferguson Report: Jeff Bezos and Richard Branson star in Amazon Virgins In Space!
It’s the 200th edition of The Ferguson Report! Thank you so much to all the readers and The New Daily for your...
The Ferguson Report: ‘Fright-wing’ COVID ad leaves viewers breathless
COVID AD LEAVES PEOPLE BREATHLESS The government will scrap its advertisement featuring a young woman gasping at a ventilator as if her...
The Ferguson Report: Socially distanced sex is the latest Olympic sport
OLYMPICS ON HEAT Instead of face masks, Olympics organisers are giving athletes condoms. About 160,000 condoms will be given to athletes, mostly...
The Ferguson Report: Australia’s vaccine blame game is going viral
PM SHAFTING THE GOALPOSTS Twelve million Australians are in lockdown. The PM blames this on “forces outside my control”, such as Queensland,...
The Ferguson Report: Toddlers up in arms as ministers outsource parenting
RECONSTITUTED JOYCE Fresh as a doozy Nationals leader, Barnaby ‘Jump For’ Joyce has hit the ground running, with his fists. Joyce has...
The Ferguson Report: UFO believers demand a rigorous, in-depth probe
QANON GIVING SATANISM A BAD NAME The ABC’s Four Corners has aired a report on Australian believers in QAnon, a squabble of pigeon-chasing tyre-kickers...
The Ferguson Report: After Craig Kelly, just how nutty could PM’s QAnon pal be?
MASSIVE STING CAUSES SLIGHT BUMP Federal Police and the FBI have swooped upon drug dealers after a long investigation. It could have...
The Ferguson Report: Anti-vaxxers in disbelief as vaccinated fail to drop dead
PARENTS TELL TEENS ‘YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND US!’ Two troubled parents have rolled their eyes and left the dinner table in a huff....
The Ferguson Report: Vaccine but not herd as holdouts hope for Xbox
VACCINE BUT NOT HERD The Morrison government is promising vaccine incentives to Australians sceptical about the benefits of breathing. A reluctant non-vaxxer...