You’d think comedy that makes Chinese officials see red would be welcome.

But China fined a Shanghai comedy venue over $3 million because a comedian joked about their military.

“Bravo! It’s about time someone took the humour out of comedy,” said a sensitivity reader who has censored Dr Seuss and Enid Blyton but not the sexist, racist and trans-phobic verses of the Holy Bible.

The Melbourne Comedy Festival said: “Despite its resemblance, this bears no resemblance to our cancellation of Barry Humphries.”

China’s cancellations include foreign speakers, stand-ups and, thankfully, modern jazz.

SATIRISTS TO DECLARE DAY OF MOURNING WHEN MORRISON FINALLY QUITS

Satirists are holding their breath as former prime minister Scott Morrison clutches his parliamentary deckchair like a Titanic passenger who forgot to pack floaties.

Humorists agree Anthony Albanese is not power-mad enough to be ludicrous … yet.

Opposition-to-opposition Leader Peter Dutton lacks the clown-like cuteness to be used as anything but a talking doorstop.

Adam Bandt is laughable when he demands everything become renewable or else, but the punchline is on us.

Everyone on the crossbench is hilarious, but in a deeply depressing way.

One satirist has put in a final word: “Farewell, Scotty, a man with a faith that only a mother could love.”

Morrison is on his way out. Photo: AAP

MPs DEMAND CARS HAVE PLAIN PACKAGING AND WARNINGS

This year is the 50th anniversary of the Whitlam government’s move to phase out tobacco advertising. The move saved the tobacco industry a fortune, giving them more money to spend on lawyers.

Federal independent MPs have jumped on each other’s bandwagons.

This has created a traffic snag in the Independent Parliamentarians section … a yoga bistro with no electricity or responsibility.

They demand health warnings be issued on each cigarette: “Stop!” “Your smoking is a pain in the butt!” and “OK, one more ciggie, then you’re quitting!”

The politicians did not explain how smokers will read messages when cigarettes are typically smoked 5cm from their eyes.

There are calls for smoking to be banned in both public and private areas. Underwater smoking will be encouraged.

Studies now show the public are in more danger from the smoke being blown by militant anti-smoking groups.

“Children must not be targets of insidious tobacco advertising. But vaping ads featuring flavours like apricot, apple or banana encourage healthy eating,” studies say.

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