The artist formally known as Prince Harry has given evidence in court against British newspapers who invaded the bits of his privacy not covered in his autobiography.

Harry has no time for the tabloids, after all, he has a large team of household staff to attend to his dirty laundry.

GREENS EATING THEIR GREENS

A Greens’ internal disciplinary body has been hastily formed by a Greens internal disciplinary body to sack the Greens’ internal disciplinary body.

The Greens misconduct panel has been sacked for misconduct.

“The biggest threat to the Greens is the Greens,” said a grassroots branch fertiliser.

A Greens groundskeeper cited “serious concerns about consistency, procedural fairness, transparency, definitions and timeliness of complaints resolution”.

So, nothing to worry about there.

The panel has been described as a kangaroo court. The Greens insist no kangaroos were harmed. But there was a lot of jumping to conclusions.

Meanwhile, the Greens annual party conference remains a closely kept secret, much to the public’s relief.

AUSTRALIA TO BAN NAZI SYMBOLS IN CRACKDOWN ON GORMLESS DINGBATS

The federal government is implementing a nationwide ban on the display of Nazi symbols.

But they say they won’t ban Hitler salutes, presumably in an attempt to please everyone.

A government spokeswoman said: “Australia’s freedom of speech must be protected from freedom of speech.”

The ban will not include the swastika due to the significance of the symbol in certain religions, prompting far-right extremists to convert to Hinduism and Buddhism instead of their usual religion – jingoism.

The ban will affect the bedsheet choices of thousands of white supremacists (easily spotted due to their pinkish colour and adorable squint).

The non-banning of the Nazi salute has local fascists up in arms. As usual.

One who describes himself as an “Incer” (involuntarily cerebral) said: “We’ll continue to march against drag queens and other things we find strangely attractive.”

In other news …

• REPUBLICANS WHO LICKED TRUMP’S BOOTS NOW COMPETING TO KICK HIM IN NUTS
• RBA BOSS TELLS AUSSIES TO WORK MORE AFTER HIS 5th MEETING OF THE YEAR
• QANTAS AND JETSTAR SIGN DEAL TO BE FIRST AT NEW SYDNEY AIRPORT IN 2026 TO CANCEL FLIGHTS
• CANADA WILDFIRE STARTED BY AMERICAN SHOOTING AT FOREIGN TREE GROWING ACROSS BORDER
• GOLFERS APPLAUD SAUDI TAKEOVER, SAY SPORT IS NO PLACE FOR POLITICS OR MORAL COMPASS
• PwC BEING INVESTIGATED BY PEOPLE WHO COULDN’T GET A JOB AT PwC