‘Anti-woke’ water is all the rage, but nothing beats a cup of Rudy
Source: X/JordanUhl
Many might expect that something as mundane was water couldn’t be “woke” and perhaps it’s not, but just to be safe, there is now “anti-woke” water.
Freedom2O is the water in question – with far-right talking heads in the US claiming every sip is “rebellious” and “unapologetic”.
It’s literally just water, in a plastic bottle wrapped in conservative slogans and “bottled with liberal tears”.
The company was founded by entrepreneur Elizabeth White, who told The New York Post last October she got her idea after watching the Republican debate – where potential candidates for the presidency lined up to challenge Donald Trump.
“They cut to a commercial and I saw so many people drinking water. But the water being consumed had no connection to the people drinking it,” she said.
“Kevin McCarthy was drinking Dasani, which is left, right and centre. If he drank Freedom, I think he would still be speaker of the house.”
White apparently faced hurdles trying to find a lawyer to help ensure there were no issues with the slogans she wanted to use on her product.
One apparently said to her they didn’t want to help her “perpetuate MAGA s–t”, but White insisted she and her company are now on the Make America Great Again train.
“I loved it,” she said of that particular lawyer’s response.
“It speaks to how triggering it is when you say what you really think or even if you just want to start a conversation.”
Freedom fighters tout Freedom water
An ad for White’s water played at Turning Point’s annual People’s Convention in mid-June.
In it, right-wing media host Alex Clark spoke about how someone’s choice of water could “make a statement”.
“What if it could symbolise your commitment to values like freedom, individuality and self reliance. Freedom2O water isn’t just about what’s inside the bottle, it’s about the message it sends with every sip,” she said.
“With labels like ‘This water isn’t free, but your speech is’, ‘It’s not just refreshing, it’s rebellious’ and ‘It’s unapologetic to drink this in public’. Can you freaking believe it? But that’s where we are.
“It’s a reminder that even the most ordinary acts like taking a sip of water can be infused with meaning and purpose by choosing to drink Freedom2O, you’re not just choosing a brand, you’re choosing to stand up for what you believe in.”
The Freedom2O website even allows supporters to sign up to become “freedom fighters” and apparently earn a commission and recruit people. The website urges people to not just “join the freedom movement” but also “stand up for your nation. Stand up for free speech”.
And it seems plenty of Americans are drinking the water, at least according to customer reviews on the company’s website.
“Please keep them coming. My family is fighting over who gets the ‘This water ain’t woke’ or ‘Bottled with liberal tears’ ones,” someone said.
Another customer said the bottles were “all a deplorable needs to be free”.
Source: Instagram
Rudy Coffee
If you’re a freedom fighter who prefers water from a tap instead of a plastic bottle, perhaps Rudy Coffee might be more to your taste?
Trump’s pal and former mayor of New York City, Rudy Giuliani is bankrupt.
Naturally, he has started a coffee line called Rudy Coffee. Flavours include “Fighting for Justice” (dark roast) and “America’s Mayor” (medium roast) – a play on the nickname Giuliani earned after the September 11, 2001 attacks on New York’s twin towers.
“I’ve moved at a fast pace, and have had many different roles in life, but the one constant thing has been a good cup of coffee, which is now proven to have health benefits,” Giuliani said, according to the company’s website.
“Please enjoy my delicious fresh roasted specialty coffee. It’s quality you can trust.”
The man who was celebrated for his leadership in the aftermath of the September 11 attacks filed for bankruptcy last year after he was ordered to pay two former election workers for spreading conspiracy theories about the 2020 election.
Considering Giuliani tried to sell signed September 11 merchandise for $US911 ($1370) in 2022 – to help out with his financial woes – the coffee cash grab is arguably more appropriate.
