News Good News The quick-witted and the bread: April Fools’ Day gags

The quick-witted and the bread: April Fools’ Day gags

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There’s no outsmarting April Fools’ Day.

Year after year, bad joke after almost funny prank.

You could try to sleep through it, but you’d risk waking up with a sharpie moustache – or worse.

Some on Twitter have pointed out that after a year marked by a global pandemic, and as Australia faces a rolling snowball of political scandals,  life itself is the joke and it’s nothing to celebrate.

But others (especially PR companies) were not letting the 450-year-old holiday pass them by.

So, without further ado, here are some of the gags TND has spotted.

Nando’s finger gloves

Peri Peri chicken giant Nando’s has announced a pair of “finger gloves” that sound more practical than practical joke.

The gloves can be worn on your… wait for it… fingers! And are marketed towards those who want to avoid making a mess while enjoying the restaurant chain’s saucy menu items.

Where’s the joke? Finger Gloves sound like a great idea. Photo: Nando’s

“Now you can keep your fingertips pristine, and enjoy every last drop with minimum mess, and maximum flavour,” Nando’s said.

The prank of course was that they will not be made available – disappointing!

Security that sinks its teeth in

Crocodiles will soon be used to welcome tourists and returning residents to the Top End, NT News has reported.

Darwin Airport executive general manager operations Rob Porter revealed the additional biosecurity measures on Thursday.

“They have an extraordinary sense of smell and are more intelligent than most people realise,” Mr Porter said.

The crocs would be used to sniff out contraband at the airport.

It can be assumed that like police dogs, the general public would not be encouraged to pat them.

Police dogs on a roll

South Australia Police snagged our attention when it unveiled an adorable addition to its New Dog Operations team on Thursday.

“The ‘small area urban search and guided evacuation’ dogs will be part of SAPOL’s capabilities from today”, the organisation announced on Twitter.

A video revealed how the specially trained SAUSAGE dog force would fill a gap in police capability.

Taking advantage of their height, the “vertically challenged” police dogs are perfect for investigating crawl spaces like underneath vehicles.

Being lightweight means they can be deployed attached to drones, which a spokesperson admitted would be a “game changer”.

TND was disappointed, but not surprised, to learn the SAUSAGE squad would not really be hitting the streets.

Tasty tourism

South Australia appeared to unveil an eye-opening domestic tourism campaign on Thursday.

The initiative encouraged travellers from all over the country to come on down to try the southern state’s culinary delights.

“South Australia invites you to Taste Down South With Your Mouth”, the press release proudly announced.

For those who do not understand the implication – we cannot explain.

TND is a G-rated publication.

As it turned out, the South Australian Tourism Commission revealed it was not actually their campaign.

“Folks, it’s not us – not even sure we want to buy the t-shirt TBH,” the organisation wrote on Twitter.

Wax Karen

Madame Tussauds said it would immortalise ‘Karens’ the world over at its Sydney wax museum.

‘Karen’ – a descriptor for middle-aged white woman with an entitled, condescending and often racist attitude – was Macquarie Dictionary’s people’s choice for 2020 word of the year.

Madame Tussauds Sydney’s Mikayla McGlone said we all knew a ‘Karen’ or two, and it was time they were honoured with their own figure.

“Karen will be complete with the signature asymmetrical bob and highlights, she’ll have acrylic nails and over-sized sunnies,” Ms McGlone said.

“But what will really bring Karen to life will be that she’s a talking figure and we’re calling on the public to help us select what she’ll say.”

Demanding to speak to a manager and making calls to the police are expected suggestions.

Domino’s garlic-free garlic bread

Pizza enterprise Domino’s released a statement promising a re-invented version of its best-selling Garlic Bread, removing “the sensory overload of garlic and butter”.

Get it? Garlic bread… with no garlic? Har har har!

Whoever thought this was a good idea should be forced to sit through the pineapple on pizza debate forevermore.

Dishonourable mentions

Overall, it was no vintage year for pranksters.

Some other mildly amusing gags were Geraldton straightening its trees to rebrand away from its image as ‘the windy city’ and Deliveroo introducing an option for pets to send their humans “treats” through the food delivery app.

Volkswagen caused a stir when it promised to rebrand as ‘Voltswagen’, but had to apologise with “regret” over the way its attempt at humour was perceived.

And of course the newest teacher at Melbourne’s Firbank Junior Grammar School – Tubby the robot STEM teacher.

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