In the relentless contest of “world’s biggest animals”, a 194cm-tall Aussie bovine has dramatically raised the steaks.
Residing on a property at Myalup, Western Australia, the seven-year-old Holstein Friesian steer is more than twice the size of the other cows in his herd.
He was first discovered by news outlets in October, but the beast’s udderly ridiculous stature only began to go viral earlier this week when the story caught international attention.
Since then, dozens of sources have been looking for inventive ways to fit the discovery into their regular coverage – some attempts more successful than udders.
Which team is most likely to sign Knickers to a 10-day? 🐮 pic.twitter.com/on7t4pnJup
— #RingerNBA (@ringernba) November 28, 2018
Every major news outlet around the globe seems to have become enamoured with the steer and have been mooved to report on it, from the Daily Mirror to New York Magazine.
No bull, owner Geoff Pearson told Perth Now that Knickers’ impressive stature should save him from becoming mince meat – as he is simply too big for the local abattoir.
“It was too heavy. I wouldn’t be able to put it through a processing facility,” he told Perth Now.
“So I think it will just live happily ever after.”
Naturally, cow fans on social media began milking Knickers for all he was worth.
Knickers is a 220 stone cow that is too big to be killed
Now Knickers gets to live the rest of his life in Western Australia pic.twitter.com/k4lm0n7Zwu
— Niamhers (@niamhhassell) November 27, 2018
You (an imbecile): we should make the biggest cow the president
Me (politically astute): we should make the SMARTEST cow the president
— pixelated no longer too early for a christmas name (@pixelatedboat) November 28, 2018
big moo pic.twitter.com/tlD3JGtWTz
— human disaster radley (@angharadyeo) November 28, 2018
the big cow is just a viral marketing stunt for Australian Beef Co. Inc.
it's actually just five footy players inside a gigantic Halloween costume. don't fall for it, you guys
— Josh Butler (@JoshButler) November 27, 2018
Knickers is the beefiest of beefy boys, and I am OBSESSED. pic.twitter.com/l0ke7WRBMO
— Bailey Hemphill (@bailsofhemp) November 27, 2018
So why is this enormous bovine named Knickers?
“When he was young, when we first got him, we had a Brahman steer which was a friend of his,” Mr Pearson explained to BBC.
“So his name was bra … so we [had] bra and knickers.”
But the real question on everyone’s muzzle is: Is this the world’s tallest steer?
According to Guinness World Records, the biggest steer alive is actually Bellino, a 202cm Chianina ox residing in Italy.
Prior to the discovery of Knickers, the honour of Australia’s tallest steer went to the aptly named Big Moo, who measures 186cm and was once the main attraction of a ‘cow pat lottery’.
Or that’s what we’ve herd, anyway.