Entertainment Style Kirstie Clements: You don’t need a geologist to read Melania’s stone-faced exit
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Kirstie Clements: You don’t need a geologist to read Melania’s stone-faced exit

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The Trumps have now departed the White House, thankfully, and we probably won’t be seeing former First Lady Melania Trump in the spotlight quite so much, if at all.

It was obvious from her perennially stony face and disinterested demeanour that she pretty much resented every second she was there.

She left Washington to return to her life as a rich housewife of Florida, wearing a solemn black Dolce & Gabbana dress and fitted Chanel jacket, stockings and gloves, a very chic outfit for a funeral, i.e., marking the death of her and her repulsive husband’s relevancy.

Outgoing US President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump step out of Marine One at Joint Base Andrews in Maryland on January 20, 2021
Melania Trump wore a solemn black Dolce and Gabbana dress and fitted Chanel jacket to mark the death of her husband’s relevancy. Photo: Getty

But the best was yet to come, to paraphrase that demon in three sets of Spanx, Kimberly Guilfoyle.

When the couple’s plane landed in Florida later that afternoon, Trump emerged at the top of the steps, in one of his crumpled Brioni suits and a red tie, a broken hustler scanning the tarmac, hoping for one more adoring crowd to dupe.

At his side was Melania, who had changed into a stunning multi-coloured sixties style Gucci caftan and flat shoes, with her hair loosely caught up in a low chignon and dark sunglasses, a look that screamed poolside glamour.

She walked past the small throng of press, and as her husband stopped to say a few words, she just glided past and got into the car, without giving them the time of day.

It was a literal snub, a complete ‘f… you all, I have a facial booked at 2pm’ move that I watched about 20 times on repeat it made me laugh so hard.

If we didn’t sense it before, Melania sent a clear message that she does not give a shit, and she is thrilled to return to her old life of shopping and massages and a re-reading of her pre-nup agreement.

Melania Trump famously wore this olive green military jacket from Zara to visit kids in detention centres. Photo: Twitter

I do want to give Melania her due though, in the fashion department only. Apart from that horrible ‘I Really Don’t Care Do U?’ parka and the colonial outfits in Egypt, she generally knocked it out of the park style-wise.

She clearly had a lot of time to think about it, because her baffling Be Best campaign certainly didn’t seem to get a lot of traction, especially considering Donald got booted off social media for being the world’s most dangerous troll, but her fashion references were mostly appropriate and respectful, if not highly literal.

Melania’s cyber-bullying campaign failed to curb Donald’s bad social media behaviour. Photo: Getty

Melania’s top five FLOTUS fashion moments

Here are five Melania Fashion Moments to enjoy. I then hope to never think about her again, unless there is a knockout divorce dress that demands my attention.

1. The pale-yellow J Mendel dress she wore on a visit to Blenheim Palace. I have nothing snarky to say about that, she looked gorgeous.

Melania wore a pale-yellow J Mendel dress she wore on royal visit in 2018. Photo: EPA

2. The Alexander McQueen khaki military-style ‘regime change’ suit she wore to deliver a speech at the 2020 Republican National Convention, in retrospect quite the call to arms.

Melania served military dictator vibes in Alexander McQueen. Photo: Getty

3. The Ralph Lauren blue gingham dress with bright red belt to celebrate – you got it, people – the 4th of July, 2018.

4. The silk floral Dolce & Gabbana coat for a trip to, yup, Sicily, home of the designers. That cost $68,400.

US First Lady Melania Trump arrives in Italy wearing a coat that cost more than Australians’ average income. Photo: AP

5. Hands down, the Gucci caftan, the biggest extended finger in US First Lady history. Enjoy the spa, Melania.

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