Nick Kyrgios has done it again. A petulant meltdown that’s all about the here and now, with no thought for others.
Good on him! We might as well go all in.
It seems Kyrgios got the memo from Team Australia – sent loud and clear in the federal election on Saturday.
Sure, the sometime Canberran was defaulted from his second-round Italian Open clash and will probably suffer another hefty fine. But let’s face it, there’s always another cheque coming from somewhere.
Let the good times roll. If the Italians banish you, there’s always Dubai or Indian Wells. If the reef dies, there’s always coal.
It’s clearly more important to find someone else to blame for your own failings and Kygrios’ chair-throwing, expletives and outright nastiness will no doubt be rewarded soon enough with some kind of sympathetic puff piece the moment he shows a modicum of decency.
Kyrgios is everything we seem to hold in high regard these days – straight talking (bordering on abusive), financially successful (despite himself) and awesome potential (that is never quite realised).
And really, why laud the level-headed consistency of an impressive woman like Ash Barty when there’s a violent male outburst to grab the public’s attention and get the attention of the unengaged.
Kygrios can be relied upon to win 6-4, 6-4, 6-4 at some point in Tel Aviv or somewhere else nice and warm soon enough, and we’ll all bask in that glow when it happens.
Another plus. If he thinks you’re a “f—–g retard”, he’ll tell you. No political correctness there. Don’t we love straight-talk where people tell you the truth?
Well sometimes. Unless it’s Bill Shorten. But then he’s only a weekend jogger.
Bernard Tomic – another legend for the new us!
Caller-out of weaker links and, another potential poster boy for the modern Australian zeitgeist.
Of course at No. 85 in the world, his ranking is a little bit lower than Kyrgios’, who sits at an impressive 36.
Which is pretty much around where the nation sits on most world rankings, of … well … anything. Even the OECD tax-take rankings.
Given our tennis boys’ big serving ways, it’s probably a bit tragic that the nation’s average internet download speed is still at No. 55, comfortably sitting between Kyrgios’ and Tomic’s rankings – just let that sink in.
How could we possibly get that number up? Maybe head to the shops and get some new runners.
One thing for sure is that Tomic – aged just 26 and a successful European immigrant story hailing from Queensland – also seems to have worked out what Australia wants from its stars; political, sport or otherwise.
This bloke is not some gig-economy, whining millennial. Nope, he has goals and the dollars maketh the man.
“I just count money, that’s all I do. I count my millions,” he famously said when questioned about his thoughts on missing out on a berth in the Australian Open.
“You go make 13-14 million [dollars]. Good luck guys.”
A Gold Coast boy to his bootstraps. Although with so many tournaments paying so much money for so little entertainment, a professional tennis career down the order kind of looks as impressive as being the third in line salesman at a Brisbane real estate office.
Unfortunately Tomic has only made about $6 million in his career, and his endorsements are not looking as healthy as you’d expect for a bloke so apparently switched on to the Australian psyche.
So what if the numbers don’t quite add up? Who really wants to be like caller-out of Donald Trump and former world No.1 Andy Roddick, who said of Tomic’s outburst: “Maybe stop for a second and think of the millions you’ve left on the table.”
Spooked retirees without franking credits … yes, that was a backhander.
Tomic’s father John used to talk about his son quitting Australia and playing for Croatia as part of their regular sparring with the taxpayer-funded Tennis Australia.
Tomic actually lives in Monaco. Kyrgios is an ACT lad – except when he’s in the Bahamas. I guess our sports stars just love being domiciled in warmer climes and tax havens for some strange reason.
Which brings us to those chair-throwers and sooks on social media all day Sunday after the federal election result.
There was a fair bit of immigration planning going on after the federal election result, mostly from aggrieved ALP supporters claiming New Zealand as the go-to destination of choice.
It all sounds great in theory, but as recent tragic events over the ditch have shown, our neighbours are not immune from Australian contagions.
And anyway, you’d have to really be a diehard rugby union fan to set up shop over there and adopt all that touchy-feely Kiwi inclusiveness.
Actually, that young spiritual guru Israel Folau doesn’t mind moving around … how good would he look in All Black!