Brad Hogg, considered one of Australian cricket’s most easy-going characters, has revealed that retirement and the breakdown of his marriage led him to contemplate suicide.
The former Test spinner, who this summer will play for the Melbourne Renegades in the Big Bash League, says he turned to heavy drinking during a battle with depression.
After seven Tests and playing in the 2003 and 2007 World Cup-winning teams, Hogg came to the realisation in 2007-08 that he had no other option than to initially retire from all forms of cricket in a bid to save his marriage to former wife, Andrea.
In his new autobiography, The Wrong ‘Un, Hogg writes: “I parked my car at Port Beach (Fremantle) and went for a walk.
“I’d stare at the sea and think, I could swim out to that groyne, and if I make it back fine.
“If I don’t make it back … well, hard luck.
“I was prepared to let fate decide. I was in a really dark place.
“I did that Fremantle drive four times. And each time I thought about doing something really drastic.”
In the chapter The Collapse, Hogg tells how marriage problems prompted the surprise retirement.
He had returned to the Australian Test team following the retirement of Shane Warne and started crying while fielding during the 2008 Test against India at the Adelaide Oval.
“My ego had taken a hit and my purpose in life had diminished,” he writes.
“I felt I had nowhere to turn. This led to a period of deep depression.
“It was a cumulative effect of a broken marriage, a mundane work life and my festering anger that I had walked away from cricket.”
The Wrong ‘Un, by Brad Hogg and Greg Growden, is out Monday.
Anyone experiencing a personal crisis or thinking about suicide can call Lifeline: 13 11 44