Someone, please, make it stop.

I can’t take it anymore: the scandals, the racism, the dud games.

If ever there was a season for this writer to be excited about footy, this was it.

• Has the AFL killed Friday night footy? 
• Injections regime laid bare in leaked transcript 
• Collingwood players accept two-year doping bans
• Stephen Dank linked to Geelong’s golden era

My team sits second on the ladder after 18 rounds, defying dire pre-season predictions and the loss of two key defenders to be one of the revelations of the year.

Grim faced: Collingwood CEO Gery Pert faces the media with football boss Neil Balme. Photo: Getty

So why do I wish I could go to sleep and wake up in November?

On Monday, we arose to the leaked 1294-page transcript of the AFL’s Anti-Doping Tribunal hearings into the Essendon supplements saga – perfect for a little light bedtime reading.

Then at 11:30, in one of those press conferences where the sponsors’ logos have been magically scrubbed clean from the backdrops, Collingwood announced Lachlan Keeffe and Josh Thomas had accepted their two-year doping bans.

In making the announcement, the club revealed Keeffe and Thomas had unintentionally been exposed to clenbuterol while taking illicit drugs.

The pair have been delisted and at this stage must be long odds to play in the AFL again.

And all this after we’ve just endured several weeks of media bickering about whether the booing of Adam Goodes was racist or not.

Prior to that the league was in mourning following the murder of Adelaide Crows coach Phil Walsh, a tragedy so senseless it shocked and numbed us all.

With all this misery off the field, you’d hope the game could offer some consolation, a distraction at the very least.

But the action on the park has been largely turgid.

Sports scientist Stephen Dank was a central figure in the Essendon supplements saga. Photo: Getty

From Friday night beltings to stoppage congestion and low scores, the game just doesn’t look and feel as good as it used to.

How else do you explain the glut of ‘how-to-fix-footy’ stories we’ve been reading over the past couple of months?

Of course, it hasn’t all been doom and gloom (it only feels that way).

The Eagles surprised, the Bulldogs have excited and the Giants finally grew up.

Nat Fyfe announced himself as the greatest player in the game while Gary Ablett finally returned from a shoulder injury to show he’s still one of the best around when he can get fit and healthy.

But everything feels tenuous. I’m waiting for the next scandal or calamity to strike.

Perhaps it’s a side effect from the increasing professionalism of the game: footy seems to create stress where once there was none.

Footy, sport, should be a form of escapism for non-participants.

Yet too often this season I’ve been looking for an escape from footy.

Green Day said it best: wake me up when September ends.