Mick Malthouse’s relationship with the media was fractious, and it was fitting his final day as an AFL coach began with an explosive interview on SEN.

Knowing he was on borrowed time, the AFL’s coaching games record holder took the opportunity to pour scorn on the Carlton board.

• Mick gone: Malthouse sacked as Carlton coach 
• 40 years in footy: Malthouse’s career in pictures
• Love or hate him, Malthouse commands respect

Malthouse had a way with words. Sometimes they soothed, sometimes they stung. And sometimes they left you scratching your head wondering what planet he was on.

Here’s the very best of Malthouse in quotes.

“If people can judge me after 30 years, what’s two more weeks mean? That I lose it totally or gain more knowledge about it?” 

Malthouse hitting out at the decision to reassess his position as coach after Round 10.

“Going to Richmond, and I love this bloke to death, Tommy (Hafey), the old game plan was to kick it to Royce Hart at centre half-forward. Royce got shorter and shorter and couldn’t jump and couldn’t jump. You don’t keep kicking it to Royce.”

Malthouse on the importance of being adaptable.

“At the end of the day you’re a windshield or a bug.”

Mick offers a blunt assessment of things after a West Coast win over Fremantle in 1998.

“The meek may inherit the earth – but they will never win games of football.”

Malthouse on the type of people football clubs need.

“The ox is slow but the earth is patient.”

Malthouse quotes Confucius after Collingwood defeat West Coast.

“Only he who does not fear death by a thousand cuts dares to unseat the emperor.”

Malthouse praises Glen Jakovich in his own unique way after an excellent performance on Wayne Carey.

“I reckon they probably come here thinking ‘we’re going to have a real bad one today, in the first quarter’. What do you honestly think? That term ‘come to play’…where does it originate from? Do they reckon they’ve come to play marbles or football? Do you think they didn’t come to play? Do you think they sat in their cars waiting for the game to start and didn’t go out there?”

Mick aims fire at a journalist for daring to ask whether his side ‘came to play’.

“If the prerequisite is to bellyache, scream, yell and carry on, if that’s the prerequisite, I’ll have our blokes do it every time. It’s a disgrace if that’s the case. It’s an absolute and utter disgrace.”

Malthouse on players asking for reviews after Carlton’s Jeff Garlett was not given one in a controversial five-point lesson to Essendon. Garlett did not force the issue with umpires and that was suggested as a possible reason as to why no review was completed.

“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

Not some of Mick’s sharpest material.

“Sorry, what’s the question?”

A staple of Malthouse’s media commitments.