What do health gurus do when they host a party for friends who don’t care what they put in their pie-holes?
They do their best to impress said friends with healthy, plant-based recipes that taste like they belong at a party rather than a fat farm.
Thug Kitchen: The Party Grub Guide, available from the Co-op, is a collection of over 100 recipes which do just that.
Their goal? “To verbally abuse you into a healthier diet,” according to their website.
From appetisers such as Devilled Chickpea Bites, to main events like Mexican Lasagna, and drinks like spiced citrus iced tea and mulled spiked cider, the grub guide will fool even to the filthiest of eaters.
This curry hand pie recipe makes about 16 pies, depending on how greedily you cut them.
2 teaspoons olive, coconut or grapeseed oil.
½ yellow onion, chopped (the size of peas)
2 carrots chopped (the size of peas)
2 cups yellow split peas
1 cup frozen green peas
½ teaspoon of your favourite, no-salt curry powder
½ teaspoon ground cumin
½ teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
2 cups spinach, cut into thin strips
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 teaspoons minced fresh ginger
1 tablespoon soy sauce or tamari
1 tablespoon lemon or lime juice
1¼ cups whole wheat pastry flour
1 cup all purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 tablespoon of your favourite no-salt curry powder
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup canned coconut milk
1½ inch piece of fresh ginger, peeled
1 jalapeño, seeded and chopped
2 cups fresh mint leaves
2 cups coriander
¼ lemon juice
¼ cup water
½ teaspoon salt
1. Make the filling. Grab a large skillet or wok and heat up the oil over medium heat. Add the onions and carrots and sauté until they start to get a little golden, around five to seven minutes. Add the split peas and green peas (no need to thaw) and stir it up. Now add the curry powder, cumin, coriander and cayenne and sauté for about 30 seconds. Throw in spinach, garlic, ginger, and soy sauce or tamari and keep cooking until the spinach starts wilting. Add the lemon juice and remove from the heat.
2. Now it’s time to make the dough. In a large bowl, whisk together flours, baking powder, curry powder and salt. Make a well in the centre of that and pour in the coconut milk. Stir that all together until everything is combined into a shaggy dough. If you need more liquid add a tablespoon or two of coconut milk. Shape it up into a nice ball. You can make the dough the night before and just stick it in the fridge.
3. Now, time to make some f***ing pies. Heat your oven up to 375 degrees fahrenheit. Line a large baking sheet with with parchment paper or foil.
4. Cut the ball of dough in half and throw half of it onto a floured surface. Roll it out into an oval shape about one eighth of an inch thick. Now grab a biscuit cutter, bowl or mug, twice the size you want your pies and cut out a bunch of rounds. We like to use a 3½-inch bowl, but you do you. Cover about half of one round with a good amount of filling and leave about a finger’s width around the edge, cause, you know you’ve got to close that s**t.
5. Wet your fingers and run them around the edge to help them stick shut. Fold the dough over the filling, taco style, so you have a tasty half moon. Press down the edge with your finger to seal it or use a fork so that you get those crimpy lines that people love. Put the hand pie on the baking sheet and cut two or three tiny slits in the top as vents. Keep making pies until you run out of dough or filling.
6. Spray the tops with a little oil and pop them in the oven. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, until the edges and bottoms start to look a little brown (we know the yellow colour of the dough makes that a little difficult, but just look closer).
7. While the pies are baking, make the sauce. Throw the ginger, jalapeño, mint, cilantro, lemon juice, water, and salt together in a blender or food processor and that s**t until a kind of paste/sauce hybrid comes together. Add a little more water if you want it saucier. Done.
8. Serve the sauce along with the hot hand pies. People will ask you where the f**k you order them from. Trust.
This article was proudly supported by the Co-op, Australia’s largest Member-owned retailer and leading supplier of learning and professional resources. Images via the Co-op.