Opinion Scott Morrison is reportedly hunting a new job. Madonna King imagines the process
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Scott Morrison is reportedly hunting a new job. Madonna King imagines the process

Scott Morrison cabinet leak
Scott Morrison is reportedly looking to his post-politics career. Photo: AAP
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Amid rumours (denied) that Scott Morrison has been seeking a role with the National Rugby League, and reports that a board position is being sought, it has become apparent that the former prime minister is looking toward his post-politics career.

It’s  forward thinking for any former PM to consider a new career.

Here Madonna King sits in on an interview between Scott Morrison, and a recruiter.

RECRUITER: Impressive resume Mr Morrison. CEO of Australia Pty Ltd. Only 31 people in history have managed that. Why did you step down?

MORRISON: It was more of a coup, really, by my employees. They didn’t understand my strategic thinking, although they probably regret that now.

I don’t look back though, unlike others in that 31 Club. Take Malcolm Turnbull, for example. He was never up to the job, but keeps quipping from the sideline now. I spent half my time, cleaning up his mess.

RECRUITER: Can I ask what’s important to you in managing a big workforce? 

MORRISON: I used to think work-life balance, but that’s a fiction. I tried that late in 2019. Took the family to Hawaii. All hell broke out.

Employees wanted me to stand down, when I was simply trying to role model the importance of balancing home and work. 

The same thing happened when I left office. Some columnists – mainly women, and I’ll get to that – were affronted because I said I was looking forward to being a dad again.

Did they really expect me to be CEO of Australia, and a father? And it’s ironic too, because this is the coven that preaches the importance of family.

Speaking of women, I’ve learnt they are important in the workforce too. Jenny told me that, and she was on the money. They also think differently. And they seem to listen more than they talk, which is a real problem when you’ve got to be strong and lead from the front. 

But diversity is important and I believe all companies need women employees so we know how 50 percent of the population think. For example, sexual misconduct is very wrong – and all CEOs should now make that very clear and very public.

RECRUITER: Mr Morrison, what would you say were your biggest successes as Australia’s CEO?

MORRISON: For starters, I was the first since John Howard to serve a complete term in office. That shows my staying power.

I’m also good at dealing in back rooms. That’s where most of the work is done. And at Church. People might laugh at my faith, but it’s at the heart of who I am.

Getting rid of Malcolm Turnbull, no doubt, was also a big success. A bigger success than getting rid of Bill Shorten really. Did I tell you he was never up to the job.

Believe me, it’s hard to come in, and take over, from someone who was just so unpopular with employees. So unpopular, the length and breadth of the country.

But that’s why I will be an asset to any organisation; I’m at home at the Lodge, and in a pair of RMs in Quilpie. Malcolm Turnbull couldn’t hide the silver spoon in his mouth out there.

RECRUITER: So what is a good fit for you? Where would you like to work?

MORRISON: To be honest – because I am, even though whingers would say I promised an Integrity Commission and didn’t deliver – I’ve probably left it too late to wear the Baggy Green.

But the NSW Blues could have done with me on Wednesday night. I know how to get people to work together. Bang a few heads together, and goodness knows what you can achieve.

But if the backroom is better, perhaps the Australian Rugby League Commission. My mate Josh is in the running for the AFL, so I’ll stay away from that.

Yes, the ARL. I know where to target the money too, because I had all these marginal electorates wanting cash, and I knew exactly where to spend it.

The Cronulla Sharks is where most of it should go. No question. And that’s something that doesn’t need a big meeting; a leader should just make those decisions and get on with it.

But really, I’ve chaired 57 meetings of the national cabinet and could run anything. Do you know what the IQ of those sitting around the table added up to? Not much – and that was my own side. So give me a challenge; and I’ll take it on. 

RECRUITER: Any weaknesses Mr Morrison that you’d like to nominate?

MORRISON: Sorry? No. None. But I’ve learnt lessons along the way for sure. I’ve learnt to be hands on. I know how to hold a hose.

RECRUITER: Thanks Mr Morrison. We’ll be in touch.