Cute, clichéd – and occasionally cringe.
Yes, it’s that time of year again when the nation’s Cupids book out every restaurant in the country and profess their love in the most heartfelt of ways.
For some, it’s nothing more than the ‘Hallmark holiday’ – pushed on to us by the card company determined to capitalise on our noble quest for love.
For others, it’s a chance to delve deep into our bleeding hearts and embrace the one we love, or even just, you know, Jennifer Aniston playing Jennifer Aniston in Picture Perfect.
To celebrate (or commiserate) Valentine’s Day, we wanted to hear your best (and worst) tales of love.
And, oh boy, did you deliver.
Some of you overshared (yes, Sophie, 27, from Western Australia, we are looking at you).
And while we don’t believe in censorship, we do think some things are better left in the bedroom.
Enough said. (But, just quietly: You go, girl).
For some, it wasn’t about getting off, but getting on … to sport.
Rod, 46, knew he had met the one when:
She told me that she loves Test cricket. We are soulmates.’’
Many of those celebrating the day revealed that Cupid had shot his arrow when they least expected it.
“When my husband and I first met, he was working as a removalist,” said Sydneysider Robyn.
“He was hired to help move my son into my new unit.
“It was morning. I had just woken up and I was wearing my old T-shirt and a pair of ratty shorts.
“When I opened the door he was standing there … I smiled and he smiled back and that was it. A month later he moved in with me and now we are married.
“We are both in our fifties and we have found a new and wonderful life together, and it all happened with a smile.”
Some of the stories broke our hearts.
“I married a woman from the Dominican Republic (DR) in the Caribbean. It was head over heels in love for me,” wrote Chris, 67, from Adelaide.
“Fast forward eight years and I found out that it was a marriage scam.
Little did I know that the DR is the Latin hotbed for marriage scams. Just over $1 million later I’m looking for my Valentine all over again.’’
Many of the readers who had gone through marriage breakdowns or nasty break-ups said there was one moment it all became clear they were with the wrong person.
“Went to marriage counselling. During the final session, the psychologist said we had three choices: Either one of us changes our fundamental beliefs; we stay together and be unhappy; or split up,” wrote Chris, 51, from Darwin.
“I walked out upset that my marriage might be ending. His first response was ‘I feel randy’. There was no doubt in my mind then that it was over.”
In a touching tribute, Peter from Wooloomooloo wrote about finding Malcolm, “the one”, in May 1997.
“He was looking after someone with HIV dementia whose family had disowned him,” the 60-year-old explained.
“We fell in love and had 21 years together until disaster struck on Boxing Day 2018 when he passed away from bowel cancer … R.I.P. Malcolm.”
Some of you confirmed that, yes, love at first sight, is a thing.
Coleen, 41, knew her future beau was the one the minute she locked eyes on him at a wedding.
“Across the car park of the church I saw a dark-haired charmer smiling at his friend and I fell head over heels,” she said.
“I asked my brother to find out who it was …(saying) ‘I’m going to marry him one day’. He was the bride’s brother.
“We dated for three months, got engaged and were married six months later. We just celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary one week ago.”
Take that, haters.
Some described it as more of a slow burn – a real slow burn.
“I seriously disliked my husband for many years before we started dating,” revealed Rebecca, 37, from Melbourne – in a post we hope won’t get her into too much trouble.
“I actually once told him that I felt sorry for the girl he would marry.”
But over many years I began to see a different side to him as we started to volunteer as youth support workers together.’’
(Oh phew, hopefully her husband reads this far!)
“My feelings of dislike changed to respect, admiration and eventually love … I knew from our first official date that I would marry him,” Rebecca added.
“Twelve years and three children later there are days I dislike him and we’ve had some tough times, but he is still the strong and steadfast man I married and fell in love with.”
And as it turns out, you can find love anywhere, including (but not limited to) the fruit shop, jail and seedy clubs.
“I was dolled up like a Courtney Love wannabe, matte lippy and tousled hair and an irresponsible air that said, ‘yeah, I smoke two menthols at once’,” wrote Amanda, 45, from Brisbane.
“I watched this clean-cut, checkered-shirt-wearing Rick Astley lookalike walk up to me. I lifted one side of my lip in agreement, and he slipped his arm around my waist, as if by some time-warping muscle memory.
“That’s when I just knew. And so did he. We’ve been married for 22 years.”
We’re not crying, you’re crying.