A few days after Christmas, lying on the floor, impersonating a beanbag, there’s a long and hollow gurgling in your guts.

You’re moved to wonder – is that my life going down the drain?

Strictly speaking, yes it is. But that’s the burden of mortality. The tree of life keeps dropping its leaves.

And now you’re moved to think: What can I do about it?

And just like millions of other people – burning with indigestion and existential unease – you put together a list of resolutions for the New Year.

New Year’s Day is Groundhog Day

Let me guess. You want to lose weight, maybe join a gym. Get a budget going and save money. Stay off the phone. Drink more water. Somehow be nicer, even to the biggest tools in your life etc.

Fair enough. They have the same seasonal integrity as the dusty plastic-and-wire Christmas tree you pulled out of storage.

In Groundhog Day, Bill Murray makes the same obnoxious mistakes over and over again.

You made these resolutions last year, and you’re making them again this year – just as you made your bacon and prune stuffing, or your gingerbread men.

It’s the same old stuff.

To shake it up, or just have a chuckle at the impossibility of the dreams we think of as ‘personal growth’, you could check out the mind-boggling lists of resolutions published in lifestyle magazines.

Check out what the young people aren’t doing

You can feel the buzz of youth radiating from College Life Made Easy‘s ’70 New Year’s Resolutions Ideas’.

Seventy resolutions. By the time you read through them it’ll be Easter.

Here’s a sample: Prioritise eco-friendly choices, adopt an attitude of gratitude, send hand-written letters, turn on music instead of the TV, set a wake-up time and stick to it!

I also like: Practice intentional breathing. That’s probably a good one for older people.

And finally: Go sky-diving. And you just might never have to make another resolution, ever.

Resolutions to make while nursing a martini

When you’ve finished brushing the ticks out of your cavoodle and salting your eggplant, say hello to Good Housekeeping‘s ’65 Rewarding New Year’s Resolutions for a Healthy, Happy Life’.

A therapist might explain why you don’t drink more water and smoke less. Photo: Getty

These include: Drink less alcohol, commit to a healthier sleep routine, quit smoking, learn to love vegetables, make time for cuddling, delegate more chores, consider therapy.

What does this tell you? It tells me we’re all struggling with the basic stuff. ‘Consider therapy’ is a good one because we can ask the shrink why do we do such a poor job of looking after ourselves.

Please. Make it a short list

The biggest giggle I’ve had while researching resolutions came from goskills.com – and its overwrought advice ‘Top 10 Most Common New Year’s Resolutions (and How to Follow Through on Them)’.

The article reads like an HR guru running amok – with a genius for complicating matters and creating a mountain of work out of nothing. It’s worth checking out for its sheer corporate audacity.

For example, the author Brad Zomick advises, when setting your goals:

• Create a list of sub-tasks
• Prioritise and order them
• Use a visual map to display
• Assign milestones to each task
• Decide how much time each task requires
• Allocate resources accordingly
• Focus on the next step, not the big goal.

Is your head spinning yet?

Still, Brad makes one good point: “Limit resolutions to a manageable amount.”

Indeed, I advise you do just one thing.

Head out the door

All the long lists of resolutions advise you move more and sit less, get out into nature, abandon the television, abandon the biscuit jar, drink more water, have a little adventure, tune out from your worries, work on your mental health as well as your physical health

All of these things can be achieved by heading out on a long walk, with a water bottle, and a vague sense of direction and some curiosity.

Don’t worry so much about steps or speed or distance. Just get cracking, every day, go for an hour. Whatever else is going on with your life, you will feel better by going for a good walk and leaving it behind you.