Playstation 3/Xbox 360
If your gift recipient is one of the many people with Playstation 4 or Xbox One at the top of their Christmas list, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting them what they want. There is something wrong with… well, the exact wrong thing. Nothing says “I left this gift to the last minute and rushed without thinking” like eight-year old technology. Trust me, this mistake will be made.
Here are two handy memory tricks so you don’t make this mistake. Playstation “4” is “more” powerful. Xbox “One“ is the “one” people want.
Oh, and keep your receipts.
Microwave Cooking for One
For me, Christmas is about getting together with your loved ones and having a good time, first and foremost.
That’s why this book is probably the absolute worst gift in the history of gifts. It says to the gift recipient “you’re alone at the most festive time of the year. Furthermore, you’re a terrible cook.”
That’s not a gift.
That’s a slap in the face, a punch in the guts and a kick in the rear.
The beauty of an Aussie Christmas is the fact that it kicks off summer. When it’s all over, the fun of the sun has only just begun. So a gym membership for a loved one, and giving a little extra motivation to get in shape, is the perfect gift right?
One of the big draws of Christmas is the opportunity to completely and utterly stuff your face until you’ve consumed thrice your bodyweight in turkey, ham and pudding. With that in mind, there’s actually something a bit twisted about implying that your gift recipient could lose a little weight, then offering them a feast Henry VIII would struggle with and enough alcohol to kill David Boone.
Let them have this one day off.
The spirit of Christmas demands it.
Santa Themed Skimpy Underwear
I get it. You wanted to surprise them with something they didn’t expect. You wanted to spice up your love life. You wanted to make them feel sexy. Stop. Let me paint you a picture.
You’re gathered around the tree with your parents, grandparents, kids and relatives. Your partner eagerly unwraps their gift, revealing a Sexy Santa outfit with an edible G-String and a bra with, bizarrely, the nipple holes cut out, along with a traditional Christmas hat. You wink.
Grandma faints, the baby starts crying and dad quickly tries to divert attention from your partner’s fire engine-red face by saying “Look at this cool remote-controlled helicopter I got”!
An awkward Christmas memory.
I’m the proud owner of a Nintendo 3DS. I love the fact that it can fold into a compact size, and that it looks pretty cool in the hand. Oh, and the 3D effect is awesome.
That’s why I was absolutely indifferent when Nintendo released the 2DS, which is the exact same product as the 3DS minus all the benefits I just listed. It’s a lame version of a better console, and if you’re lucky it might impress a six-year-old child, until they find out the one their friend got looks cooler and can do that thing they saw at the movies in Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs 2.
What’s the worst Christmas gift you’ve ever given (or received)?
Let us know in the comments below.