Christmas is a time of togetherness for many Australians, but it can also be a time of great loneliness.

One in three people feel lonely during the festive season, data from the Australian Red Cross shows. The charity’s survey of 1000 people comissioned in December last year found women and young people aged 18 to 29 were more prone to feeling alone.

Christmas can exacerbate issues of social isolation and a lack of belonging, said Nick Tebbey, national executive officer at Relationships Australia.

“We put a lot of pressure on ourselves around Christmas time and we can fall into the trap of measuring ourselves against what we see in all the beautiful images of Christmas and people being together,” he said.

“Because this is such a heightened time of loneliness we can suffer more than we would any other time of year in terms of our mental well-being and ultimately our mental health.

“We start to internalise and can potentially be caught in a cycle where we feel lonely, feeing somehow not doing what we should be doing or that we failed to do the right thing without understanding that it’s really just a day, or a season.

“This time of year stops us from necessarily being able to understand those underlying issues and makes it feel worse than it really needs to be.”

Loneliness is a prevalent problem made worse by the COVID pandemic. Research by the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare found 54 per cent of Australians report feeling more lonely since the start of the pandemic.

Loneliness is associated with poor physical and mental health outcomes, and risky health behaviours, which come at a social and economic cost of up to $2.7 billion each year, according to studies by Curtain University.

The season to be merry (for most)

Festive time heightens the need for everyone to take care of themselves to ward off feelings of isolation and insecurity, Tebbey said.

“I think the number one thing for all of us whether you’re feeling lonely or not, is making sure you self-care and pay attention to your own feelings and the needs of your immediate family,” he said.

“Focus on yourself and your immediate family. What do you need at this time of year to make you feel like you’re getting the most out of it on your terms without necessarily living up the expectations of others?

“Give yourself permission to live that and not getting caught up in other people’s views of what you should be doing.”

There are plenty of ways for people experiencing loneliness to connect with others:

• Join a local volunteer project to help others and at the same time, make social connections. Neighbours Every Day has a directory of groups needing volunteers.
• Call a family member or friend. You may be hesitant to interact with others, but it could be a better experience than you expect.
• Take a walk, ride a bike or go for a run. Live Life Get Active is a free exercise program operating both online and across a wide number of venues across Australia.
• Distract yourself by doing what you love. It could be craft, reading, jigsaw puzzles or baking – whatever keeps you happy and busy.
• Spend time with your pets. Cuddling your cat or playing with the dog is a great way to feel companionship like no other.

If you feel in crisis call Lifeline on 13 11 14 for confidential help and support.