There is a wonderful UK-based commentator on social media, @shabazsays, who has attracted a huge following by poking fun at over-the-top influencers showing off their expensive goodies.

One of his latest videos shows an influencer in one of those lame beige-and-white “lifestyle” environments as she packs incredibly extravagant goodie bags for the guests who will be attending her “baby sprinkle”.

That made me wonder, what on earth is a baby sprinkle?

As it turns out it is the gathering you have for the second or third or whatever baby, which is not to be confused with the “baby shower” which is only for the firstborn.

That led me into a deep dive about baby-shower etiquette and, my goodness, it’s complex.

Things have changed. I seem to remember that baby showers were mostly about the baby and buying things for to soon-to-be new mother, necessities like booties and bottles and nappies.

Goodbye to bunny rugs

There were usually some sweet little baby things thrown in depending on your budget, like smocked dresses and hand-knitted booties or cute bunny rugs. It was a good excuse to have afternoon tea, eat cream cakes and talk excitedly about the upcoming birth.

But in the world of ‘let’s make our celebrations bigger and better and post it on Instagram!’, the whole thing has been upended.

There are now gender reveal parties where parents go to elaborate lengths to surprise presumably willing guests with the sex of their not-yet-born child, which to my mind you could probably just do in a text.

I’m a little confused as to where the gender party fits in the baby shower timeline, or if it’s the same event. Presumably it’s before the baby shower, so that you can target your expensive gift purchases accordingly. Forget that old three-pack of Bonds Wondersuits. We are now expecting cashmere baby blankets ,100 per cent organic muslin wraps in orchid white or oatmeal, Baby Dior bucket hats and Tiffany rattles.

Does any infant really need a Baby Dior bucket hat at $720? Photo: Dior

Why should the baby be the beneficiary of all the gifts? That’s so 20th century. We saw the introduction of the odious “Push Present”, where the partner gives his spouse an expensive gift – such as a diamond bracelet or a Louis Vuitton bag – as a showy ‘thank you’ for giving birth, something I think the mother was probably intending to do anyway sometime after conception.

I always felt the man who buys a push present also has a mistress on the side, but that’s just me.

And now we have the baby sprinkle party, where the guests get the gift bags, not the already dull second child, who can just roll around in its older sibling’s pilled cashmere cast-offs.

Hilariously, there are etiquette rules around baby sprinkles, which apparently should be shorter in duration than a baby shower. And if the mother chooses not to open baby presents in front of her presumably bored guests, that’s her prerogative because second baby gifts are meh.

The collective oohs and aahs as the mother-to-be held up the cute little matinee jacket from Auntie Mary used to be the point of the whole thing.

Anyway, pass the gift bag.