Life Eat & Drink Emergency biscuits save England from shortage

Emergency biscuits save England from shortage

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Two Boeing 777 planes full of biscuits have been sent to England to relieve a national biscuit crisis.

Used to devouring 34,000 tonnes of biscuits per month, hungry Britons have Desmond to blame for the saga – Storm Desmond that is.

The storm hit England in December and sent metres-high floodwaters into the United Biscuits plant in Carlisle, Cumbria.

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United Biscuits manufactures popular biscuit brands McVities, Jacob’s and Carr’s, and many retailers have since reported completely running out of stock.

After clearing 540 tonnes of debris from the massive factory site, production on some lines restarted last week at United – but England is still suffering through sugar cravings as workers struggle to make up for lost time.

United Biscuits said it could take “several months” until things get back to normal.

Twitter biscuit shortage
One Twitter user captured this apology from supermarket Sainsburys. Photo: Twitter

The storms “submerged Carlisle’s McVitie’s factory ovens, halting production of custard creams, bourbons, ginger nuts and table water biscuits,” wrote the BBC.

“Biscuits started disappearing from shop shelves. A nation which had looked on in sympathetic disbelief began to feel the crisis bite closer to home.

“Dire circumstances demand a restorative cup of tea and a cup of tea demands a biscuit.”

And that’s where the aeroplanes come in.

“We are pleased to hear that the factories hope to be up and running again this month,” Dayle Hauxwell, cargo manager for Doncaster Sheffield Airport told the Doncaster Free Press.

“In the meantime we’ve been delighted to welcome two flights from Emirates full of the nation’s favourite biscuits.”

Britons are said to be particularly heartbroken about the shortage of Bourbons – a sandwich-style chocolate biscuit with a chocolate buttercream filling.

“Apparently Bourbon biscuits are now only available on the black market,” complained one Twitter user.

Bourbon biscuit
Popular biscuit Bourbons has been particularly missed.

“So the underfunded flood defences in the north have caused the lack of Bourbon creams. THIS is how revolution starts,” wrote another.

United’s general manager said the months since Desmond had been tough on the entire region, and not just because no one could enjoy one of their famous Ginger Nut biscuits.

To get an idea of just how much the English enjoy the sweet snack, United claims to produce 250,000 Ginger Nuts every hour when it is at peak production.

“It’s been awful not to be baking biscuits, so we thank everyone that helped us along the way to get production back up and running,” he said.

Earlier this year, the company placed an ad in the local newspaper, humorously apologising for a shortage of its famous water biscuits.

“Oh, the irony,” read the advertisement, which was headlined: “Flooding in water biscuit factory”.

United said it had scoured the country, but hadn’t been able to find a brick oven that could make the cracker – perfect for eating cheese with – just right.

With Britain’s biscuit empire crumbling, English men and women have been forced to do the unthinkable: drink their tea without a sweet accompaniment.


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