This year, more than 10,000 singles applied to be contestants on Married at First Sight. Which is what makes it so odd that so many of the chosen 20 appear almost unloveable.

With a few exceptions – Matt, anyway – the men are condescending, inarticulate or vain.

The women (Lauren and Jules, you’re off the hook) mostly seem neurotic, shallow and high maintenance. It’s an increasingly cynical display of clickbait casting. Which means TV gold.

The fifth season of Nine’s juggernaut hit (last year its finale drew 1.8 million viewers, which made it the highest-rating show of the year) debuted on Monday night, pitted directly against the first episode of Seven’s arch reality rival My Kitchen Rules.

Now 10 years old, MKR still features judges Manu Feildel and Pete Evans. Photo: Seven

MKR is now in its 10th season. Last year it disappointed in the ratings compared to its former steamroller glory days after veering off its tried-and-true course of couples serving themselves on a plate.

Instead, the cooking show (which still has Pete Evans and Manu Feildel as judges) dived into personality politics and sensational contrived ads – “The biggest blowup in MKR history” – and went off the boil.

By contrast, Married at First Sight has successfully honed its format so that what was once a small ‘social experiment’ and genuinely interesting concept about whether arranged marriages can lead to love is now a slick exercise in pure guilty entertainment.

It will probably only increase its audience share, but the dad bodies, awkward tradies and suburban heartbroken women have been replaced by photogenic professionals and 26-year-old part-time models complaining that they’re so good looking they can’t get a girl.

The casting change up was noticed instantly on social media, with the startling Elizabeth (“They could look like Quasimodo but if they have a beautiful voice I’d be like, ‘Hey baby’ “) a major target.

How unmatched are the couples going to be this season. Oh wait it’s a soap opera

— Arts Desire (@artsdesire) January 28, 2019

Well, this would've had to be the most #overconfident bunch of ladies ever launched on #MAFS @MarriedAU #confident pic.twitter.com/iECp7nfQWx

— Jenkins_Catkins (@Jenkins_Catkins) January 28, 2019

There was early tension, mostly thanks to bride Cyrell, who has a total brother complex with aggressively protective sibling Ivan, a fan of fake Louis Vuitton T-shirts. When told his sister is marrying, he loses it: “You only think about yourself.”

Health fund consultant Cyrell, 29, turned into an ugly cryer and screamer, who had to be reprimanded by her mother: “Don’t swear in front of the food.”

Meanwhile, all business manager Jules, 34, wanted was a man taller than her. She was matched with tiny former cricketer Cam, 34.

The tension as she approached her miniature future husband was akin to a scene in It, even as the voiceover intoned they were “scientifically speaking, one of the strongest matches the experiment has ever seen”.

His reaction when he saw her? “Holy s–t.”

Their first chat was terrific. Sparks flew. Quoting Sex of the City’s Carrie Bradshaw in her vows, she forgot about the height thing.

I don't want to jinx it… But I think what we're witnessing here is love at first sight! 💕 #MAFS pic.twitter.com/1QCMKdtc80

— Married At First Sight (@MarriedAU) January 28, 2019

Viewers posted instant memes of compatible sandwiches (I know), people doing heart hands and Academy Awards audiences leaping to their feet to applaud “Love at first sight”.

https://twitter.com/danieloweis/status/1089825751765897217

If I was a betting woman, I’d say it’s too good to be true.

Overwrought Cyrell (who thinks of herself as super easygoing) wouldn’t shut up about her sweaty hands after a couple of grogs on the way to the wedding – with brother “Oivan” of course – and didn’t make such a good impression on her groom, Nic.

He put on a game face but appeared surprised by his new verbose ‘wife’, her clumsy rhyming vows, village idiot giggling and Ivan yelling from the front row the first kiss was “disrespectful”.

When Ivan fronted electrician Nic, 28, and threatened him, it was car crash entertainment at its finest. Which Nic was able to defuse by saying he once had cancer. Boom. Hypocritical Ivan was back in his box.

Good luck, you two. Also: Nic, run.

Nic’s setting the record straight. #MAFS pic.twitter.com/lBsr5RH7jn

— Married At First Sight (@MarriedAU) January 28, 2019

Was there the same sizzle over on Seven?

No. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. After dialling back the confected drama, MKR seemed to have thrown more into the casting and actual cooking than last year.

Among the 16 new teams competing for $250,000, there’s less tension, more social niceties and a wholesome but cool young couple – Ash and Stacey from Byron Bay – hosting the first instant restaurant.

Ash made odd pronouncements (“We’re either going to win or burn the kitchen down” and “I’ve got your back and your front”) but the overall vibe was anodyne.

Until that is, weirdo brothers Josh and Austin hit their straps with their hybrid accents and complete lack of social awareness.

They told one woman they thought she was a lesbian because of her pink mohawk (despite her husband sitting next to her) and suspected another two people at the table were “mail order brides” (including one man).

By Tuesday morning, MKR ads had Josh and Austin pegged as the “dinner party assassins”, so it looks like ‘personality’ storylines are back. Which is fine for a while, but it’s really just one pair saying outrageous things and being ticked off. It’s not an evolution of the show.

If the table hadn’t already turned on Josh, they have now! 💥🥊#MKR | https://t.co/DIdria31ne pic.twitter.com/jgE2iEJk4L

— MKR (@mykitchenrules) January 28, 2019

On points, MAFS wins by a mile. Just because it’s more fun and more terrifying. And 10 years on, watching other people cook food lacks a certain spice.