A week is a long time in politics, but it is a hell of a lot longer on reality TV.
A week ago, on Channel 9’s Married at First Sight (MAFS), Western Australian mining truck driver Susan told farmer Sean she was going to have a go living on his remote farm on the other side of the country.
The audience went weak at the knees with relief and assumed that the couple’s future life together was a done deal.
So they turned their attention to series bad boy Anthony and his beautiful “wife” Nadia who had so many reasons to dump him. Remember, he noted she had small breasts, likened himself to the boy who “asked Santa Claus for a bike and got a skateboard” and labeled her “frigid”.
On their final date, Nadia questioned his integrity and whether he was for real. The audience was sure he would be kicked into touch.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
The couples went home for a week to think things over and take counsel from friends and family before recommitment ceremonies on Sunday night.
Sean spent most of his week on his farm chatting with his dad about his future with Susan.
“You love that girl, mate. You’ve just got to have a go,” his father said.
At the ceremony, Sean told Susan she had changed his life for the better.
“My heart wants nothing more than to ride off into the sunset together forever,” he gushed.
Just as the audience expected two horses to arrive, Susan broke Sean’s heart by saying she couldn’t live in his world.
“When I’m with you, I feel alive, happy, respected, you always look out for me and want to look after me,” she told him.
“This has been a difficult decision … I don’t want to give this great guy up.
“But I’ve decided I can’t be in a relationship with you. But I hope we can be the best of friends.
“Keep being a good man,” she told him as she left.
Nadia, on the other hand, had weird dreams about a black snake killing her pet dog in the run-up to her decision.
“My dream, it pieces together all my confusion,” she said.
“It sounds really awful. But all of the things that I had been holding on to, like, came out in my dream last night.”
Guess she means that Anthony is going to swallow her up because he’s been slow to “value my thoughts and ideas”.
Anthony, meanwhile, had no real doubts she would recommit – at least until the ceremony when Nadia dithered. He looked like he was going to cry until she finally said “the good outweighs the bad and I’m going to take the leap with you”.
Is it really over for Susan and Sean? Promos hint at a change of heart.
But that could just be about getting the audience to choose MAFS over My Kitchen Rules on Channel 7. After all, MAFS has kicked a giant opponent into second place because of clever production and promos. So, we shall see.