For once, it was all about the food on Channel 7’s My Kitchen Rules on Sunday. Dreadful food. The worst food in the history of the series.
In the kitchen were two “flirty flatmates” from Perth – Ash and Bek who started their day looking at who was available on the dating app Tinder.
Bek (“I could flirt with a pot plant”), who has been flicking her hair at fellow contestant Kyle since day one, was wondering if she’d come across his profile. She didn’t.
“The way to a man’s heart is food, so it’s a good thing we can cook,” says Bek.
“The dream is, we go on MKR, we meet two single men, we win MKR and then we get married and we have dinner parties together.”
In the kitchen they start making their first course – a roast vegetable tart with a balsamic glaze.
“If Kyle does like, fancy me and I, um, cook him something hideous, he will be like eeeeugh, I’m not going to marry her. It could be my future on the line,” says Bek.
Just 20 minutes before the guests are due to arrive, the first course isn’t finished – but there’s been time for makeup and a change of clothes.
Bek crushes four huge garlic bulbs (“season, season, season”), while Ash minutely chops the vegetables.
Things start going wrong when Bek realises her tart bases are shrinking in the oven, which means she has overworked the pastry.
Then, her choux pastry she’s preparing for the profiteroles turns into a “globby mess”. She has to start again.
But the very pretty-looking starter goes out. Tasting doesn’t go well and judge Manu Feildel visibly shudders at the raw garlic and says he has no idea what the vegetables are because they are mushy.
The normal bitching from the participants that goes on between courses is curiously muted and they all hope the fish course will be better.
Ash succumbs to stress and loses the plot cooking the WA specialty goldband snapper fish for the main course. Huge, juicy fillets grow progressively smaller as she tries repeat batches, none of which are cooked properly.
Bek realises there’s not enough of the walnut oil for the dressing so the fennel and fig is not properly dressed.
“This is a nightmare that I can’t wake up from,” says Bek.
“The main is an absolute train wreck.”
Everyone at the table looks really sad when the dish arrived.
Pete Evans sums it up.
“Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever had a dish like this in the competition. You girls are intelligent, you are passionate, but I don’t know what’s going on tonight.”
Manu: “You are here for a reason. Show it to us.”
Step in the Australian public with how people really felt about their dish.
— Vicki C (@badgal_veevee) February 5, 2017
Just open a few tins of tuna girls…….John West has rejected that fish #mkr
— Kathryn O'Reilly (@kath1377) February 5, 2017
All hopes are pinned on the profiteroles with custard and orange chocolate sauce.
But, the custard ends up like scrambled egg, half of the profiteroles don’t make it to the table and the Cointreau won’t blend with the chocolate.
“At this point,” Bek says, “I’m expecting a truck to run through the kitchen and I’m hoping it does.
“I’m this close to saying I’m sorry we can’t serve dessert and walking away.
“This is not a reflection of our cooking. It’s a reflection of a night that turned to crap.”
— #MKR (@mykitchenrules) February 5, 2017
Without going on about it, their scores were the lowest in the history of MKR.
Those who have cooked so far managed scores in the 60s. Bek and Ash scored a paltry 26.
“But, with two teams to cook, it’s not over yet,” intoned the hopeful voiceover.
And will Kyle dump Bek as a result of this disaster? He did give her a hug as he left so perhaps all is not lost.