Entertainment TV Say what?! Cringeworthy First Dates returns to TV
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Say what?! Cringeworthy First Dates returns to TV

Desperate and date-less Roxy is reality show gold. Photo: Seven
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“I’ve got a confession,” says Roxy to Aarun who has just told her on First Dates (Channel Seven, Tuesday, October 1) that he’s Sri Lankan.

“I don’t like Indian food.”

“I don’t like Indian food either,” responds Aarun.

“How amazing,” says Roxy. “An Indian who doesn’t like Indian food.”

No, Roxy, he’s Sri Lankan. It’s not quite the same.

This is the second series of the show where blind dates meet at the First Dates restaurant in Melbourne and cameras follow their every move and conversations.

After the meal, they have to sit on a TV set and say whether or not they want to meet up again.

Sadly, it’s not hard to see why Roxy sees herself as Australia’s Bridget Jones. Dating agencies even refund her fees and, in 50 dates, not one of the men she met paid the bill. She’s never once had a relationship.

As a result, she has a slightly desperate look in her eyes as she recounts her endless bad dates stories and, much to Aarun’s surprise, talks about the book she’s going to write: The Dating Life of a Single Nanny.

She even brought a specially prepared card from one of the children she cares for which says, “Please love Roxy”.

Aarun, a nurse, is in theory the man of her dreams. He’s caring, kind and he pays for dinner. Roxy is moved close to tears. He also is up for another date but she says no. No sexual chemistry apparently.

Poor Roxy

We dare you to find us somebody unluckier in love than Roxy. Not sure anybody else has ever got a refund from eHarmony.

Posted by First Dates Australia on 2016年11月1日

Lisa and Ryan

Roxy might have gone home alone but there was no chance Lisa (35) from Victoria would be. She arrives, hot to trot, an immediately reveals that, if she’s had a few drinks, she’d be asking “if their package was above average”.

“It’s pretty embarrassing, but it’s important that he’s well endowed. No little cocktail frankfurters for me thanks.”

Her army man date, Ryan (30) is quick to tell us about his amazing body “with a good weapon down below” and, within moments of meeting, there’s flirting and sexual innuendo galore. Even when they talk about their cats, Jinx and Minx.

Lisa: “You’ve got a girl, I’ve got a boy. They could be lovers”

Ryan: “They totally could be”.

Ryan asks if her boobs are real (yes, they are) and Lisa initiates a passionate kiss at decision time. A second date – and probably a lusty future – was never in doubt.

Lisa and Ryan had instant chemistry. Photo: Seven
Lisa and Ryan had instant chemistry. Photo: Seven

Shadi and Natalie

Shadi (28) – the Lebanese mummy’s boy who has never actually dated a Lebanese girl before – is surprised and delighted when he meets Lebanese scientist, Natalie (27).

He’s on the phone, in the men’s toilet, to Mum asking for advice and is absolutely ready to take Natalie home to meet the family. Sadly, Natalie isn’t up for a second date – though she does agree to bring some hummus over sometime, as a friend.

Maybe Shadi shouldn’t have told her, straight up, that, he married at 22 for just 44 days after being practically “forced” up the aisle and now gets through tough times by telling jokes. Not great jokes, as he demonstrates often during their dinner.

With pick up lines like this, his next date will be Han Solo

What is the male equivalent of the Beyonce/Chewbacca conundrum?

Posted by First Dates Australia on 2016年11月1日

Tonee and Jake

The minute Tonee (23) and Jake (24) meet, they figure out they’d been at primary school together. Tonee remembers him as a “really good guy” who she had “a bit of a crush on”.

Jake was less enthusiastic but went in for the kiss at the end and vaguely agreed to a second date. The episode postscript reveals they are Facebook mates but “they are yet to meet up behind the school shed”.

Tonee and Jake share a smooch. Photo: Seven
Tonee and Jake share a smooch. Photo: Seven

But it’s Roxy who is dating show gold – probably the ultimate matchmaker’s challenge – and she’s coming back next week to have another go.

She’s to be matched with a podiatrist and reveals she’s into feet. This will be interesting.

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