It has been a surprising year in fashion, mostly because it was so pretty and wearable. I still haven’t come to terms with the fact that, everywhere I look, women are wearing flattering, appropriate dresses, smart oversized tailored blazers, silk slips, lovely romantic blouses, breezy linen skirts and tops.
It’s as if we unconsciously banded together and demanded that designers deliver practical clothes for all shapes and sizes that we look good in. Fashion working for us, not against us.
The suggested colour palettes have been gorgeous – pinks, greens , sunny yellow and lush floral prints. The Pantone colour of 2020 is Classic Blue, and we’re starting to see it everywhere now, a deep, vibrant blue – it’s my favourite colour.
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Everything is going swimmingly. So of course let’s expect big sweeping, and terrible changes.
A quick glance at the recent ready-to-wear shows give us an early prediction of the trends that are coming for us in 2020, and the one that immediately grabbed my attention was Bermuda shorts.
Stop with that.
No-one has the right bottom and thighs for Bermuda shorts. It appears as if those pesky designers have gone through the checklist of looks that are unnecessary and ugly and are sending them out to ruin this new egalitarianism.
Apparently artisanal crochet is going to be big. Not for anyone over 40, thank you very much.
Short shorts (I mean shorts that look more like underpants) are a thing. I’m looking forward to seeing that in the CBD.
Neon colours are being suggested, like highlighter pens, in hot pink, lime, and yellow. OK. Staying with the stationery theme, keep me posted.
Large, pointed ’70s disco collars are a thing too, apparently, like an open neck shirt in Saturday Night Fever. Feathers. Big polka dots. Stop.
If this ’70s redux horrorshow is on its way, the least we can do is throw out some of the worst that 2019 had to offer to make some room in the wardrobe.
The must-go list
Padded headbands. They miraculously manage infantile and dowdy at the same time
Tiny sunglasses – so unflattering if you have even a slightly round face.
Bike shorts – best kept for the real cyclists. Two words ladies: camel toe.
Pale blue denim – there is just something naff about this 1980’s staple. In a supreme, “What was I thinking?” moment, I bought a pale blue denim blouson jacket, which, when I put it on, had a Desperately Seeking Susan vibe about it. That was not what I wanted to achieve. Lesson: never, ever wear a trend twice in your lifetime.
Ugly, huge, over-designed and over-priced sneakers.
Frayed jeans. I succumbed to them myself, but they look sloppy.
Monograms on everything. It’s lame.
The please-stay list
Jumpsuits. Most men hate them, which is all the more reason to like them. I think they look sassy and chic.
Huge sun hats. The French brand Jacquemus had a fashion hit with their oversized straw hat. They’re good for photos, but also so pretty and practical on the beach.
Bold jewellery – so much more of a statement than that tiny, weeny delicate stuff.
And my personal favourite, the designer orthopaedic sandal as a fashion statement. For obvious reasons.