If New York Fashion Week 2019 was anything to go by, we’ll soon all be wearing minis or short shorts, knee boots, pointy-toed ankle boots, florals, hats, metallics, faux tracksuit pants and anything from the dowdy end of your grandmother’s wardrobe.
In other words, there is no fashion, only personal style.
A highlight of the week, which ran until Sunday and saw everyone from Rihanna and Cate Blanchett to Jennifer Lopez in town?
Kate Moss rocking up (showing how to wear a slightly longer ankle boot) with daughter Lila Moss Hack, who at 16 seemed to have her mother’s famous fabulous undone insouciance, teaming girlish pale mint with sneakers.
Hats, patterns, flared pants … Gigi and Bella Hadid were vaguely disquieting fembots. The metallic pants could certainly take you from day to night and every roller disco in between.
Even Jennifer Lopez’s security looked surprised by her harried homemaker hits the supermarket getup. The pant looks like a 1970s Bulgarian Olympic tracksuit.
After her superstar cashmere bra moment a couple of weeks ago, Katie Holmes went back to type and wore work experience girl chic.
Cara Delevingne, Joan Smalls and Gigi Hadid were who you want to be. Cara’s plunging mini and heavy boots were scarily cool. Joan’s sophisticated crushed velvet was at odds with her lady sandals. Gigi made every jean other than the slight bootleg look over.
Kate Bosworth meshed frilly sleeves with a lot of other things including shoulder studs, a self-conscious bag and o’er the calf footwear.
Karen Elson had on that dress you throw in your bag for Bali in case you go somewhere slightly fancy for dinner one night.
Rihanna fronted to her own Diamond Ball in curve-hugging velvet with a fresh take on the mermaid hemline. Or a dated take.
Miley Cyrus has the wrong end of the stick with revenge dressing.
I’m worried Halsey dropped into my son’s house when he was going through that tattoo gun phase, but other than that showed how to do modern Playboy Mansion dressing.
Julianne Moore was another convert to the anchoring biker boot and pulled off a polished rock vibe.
Cyndi Lauper was a second who tried the rock thing but with more whimsy and boots that crossed over from Chanel to Kiss.
Irina Shayk was also suited and booted, in cool pinstripe that said business and a midriff top that said model.
It was hard to tell exactly what Suki Waterhouse and Emily Ratajkowski were wearing but it was matchy matchy floaty with bared shoulders and little bags. Suki’s footwear was more interesting.
Speaking of twinning, Jameela Jamil and Maye Musk (are they rubber gloves?) were both feeling a patterned suit and a bit of funkiness. I support this.
Olivia Palermo was so on trend with a 1920s-esque floral tea dress and fantastic shoes she looked faintly unoriginal.
Kendall Jenner nailed off duty model with hot pants, long boots and waiting FBI-style limo. An expertly done cliche.
Anna Wintour stuck to her trademark floral dress, jewelled necklace and unremarkable sandals although one toe appeared to be in strife.
Cate Blanchett took ringmaster classiness to a new level. If she ran workshops in how to be polished, I’d pay.
Speaking of master classes, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian generously shared all they know about being so hot right now. I don’t have my glasses on … is Kim wearing pedicure thongs?
Priyanka Chopra was amazing, from that huge smile and super shiny hair to her cleavage, tight skirt and understated really expensive pumps.
Yara Shahidi was also having a ball, in sorbet-pleated Prada that screamed fun and would have been excellent to dance in.
Zendaya was another fan of the dark side, mixing lingerie and a leather coat with boots and chandelier earrings.