The ARIA Awards are that one event a year where everyone gets a little bit overexcited.

Attendees think because they’re in the presence of rock stars, they can dress like rock stars.

Unfortunately, in order to pull off the rock star look, you’ve got to actually be a rock star.

The only person who can dress like Mick Jagger is Mick Jagger. Same goes for anyone channelling the style of Bowie, Hendrix, Cobain or Beyonce.

The only clear rock stars present at Wednesday night’s event were Crowded House. Maybe even The Wiggles.

Finding “best dressed” picks in the onslaught of bad fabrics and over-zealous styling was next to impossible and past standouts like Kylie Minogue, Daniel Johns and Nick Cave were sorely missed.

The best dressed were those who, like their predecessors, looked unique, effortless and comfortable.

But let’s begin with the worst dressed, because we’ve got a lot to get through…

The worst dressed

Havana Brown: I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed. Recycling Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake’s 2001 double denim outfits has been done (by Katy Perry nonetheless). A little black dress would have sufficed and allowed Brown’s natural good looks to shine.

Jessica Mauboy: We wanted this to work. Really, we did. From the neck up, Mauboy looks stunning. If anyone could pull this off, it would be her. Unfortunately, the difference between the best and worst dressed list was one too many frills.

Robbie Williams: This is like one of those optical illusion things you stare at for a long time until a cat or some other random object reveals itself to you. We have a headache.

Megan Washington: Washington is incredibly talented but this frou-frou disaster is making it hard for us to just focus on the music. Special shoutout to the lady in the yellow skirt-suit in the background, who’s probably figuring out if she can borrow Washington’s dress.

Ben Lee: Speaking of yellow suits, here’s another one! Boy, is it bad. We know Lee’s vibe is eclectic to say the least, but if you’re going to wear such a bright suit, at least make sure it fits you properly. However, we have a feeling Lee doesn’t really care what we think.

Kasey Chambers: This dress came so close to being good. Unfortunately, its plans to make the best dressed list were cruelly foiled by a strange black singlet, a crinkled satin ribbon and some very bizarre boots. A valiant effort nonetheless.

Tove Lo: This dress has a uterus on it. That’s not even why we don’t like it. In fact, the uterus might be the best part of the dress. We’d take the uterus over the rest of the dress any day.

Flume: Flume’s suit looks like a very nice, very expensive designer couch. The contestants of The Block would go crazy for a couch made out of Flume’s suit. It would go perfectly with their graphic feature walls and matte black cupboards.

Sheppard: These girls seem to be young, bright and happy, with their whole futures ahead of them. Unfortunately, we can’t look directly at them because it’s like a million tiny suns burning our eyes.

The best dressed

Missy Higgins: Nothing about Higgins’ look is particularly remarkable, but the fact it’s inoffensive and elegant in a sea of outrageousness makes it a winner.

Crowded House: This brilliant band has spent years bringing joy to our ears. Tonight, we thank them for not hurting our eyes. Wonderfully suave and effortlessly cool.

The Wiggles: Hey, at least they know what works for them.

Shane Nicholson’s partner: We don’t now who this lovely lady is, but we applaud her for her modern take on the female tuxedo. She looks like more of a star than most of the guests do. Nicholson could afford to take some tips from his date.

Sarah Ellen: This young model doesn’t appear to have much to do with the music industry, but we should all be thanking her for raising the calibre of red carpet style. Simply chic.

Harrison Craig: Ladies and gentlemen, we present the only person who understands what a black tie dress code means.

Troye Sivan: Normally we’d call a velvet spotted suit with no tie and a nose ring “edgy” but in this crowd, it’s surprisingly normal.

Montaigne: Who doesn’t enjoy a pretty dress served with a social message?

Photos courtesy of Getty Images