Each and every year, the supportive women in the lives of the nation’s AFL players put hours of effort into their appearance on the Browlow red carpet.
While the focus should be on the winner, more often than not it’s stolen by the flurry of fashion that takes place before the ceremony.
Our picks for best dressed of the evening were Sarah Dunn (Jarryd Roughead’s partner), Brittany Davis (Joel Selwood’s partner), Lyndall Mitchell (Sam Mitchell’s wife) and Justine Murphy (Robert Murphy’s wife). All of them were unique and elegant.
However, for the sartorially challenged the distinction between fashion triumph and fashion faux pas can be a little harder to define.
In fact, an architectural, high-fashion piece worth thousands of dollars might just translate to “looks like a curtain”.
To prove our point, we present our style peanut gallery: James, 31, Davey, 24, Damo, 38, and Stefan, 24.
They have no idea what they’re doing and they’re proud of it.
Here’s their take on some of the most striking gowns of the night…
Davey: The length is ideal for the heavily pregnant woman or the party goer that wants to resemble a cloud.
Stefan: What a well-dressed mother to be! Really beautiful.
Damo: It looks very uncomfortable.
James: A bit shiny but fine.
Davey: The neckline and scalp-peeling tight hair really show off her impressive neck.
Stefan: Very classic. I would take her home to meet my mother.
James: This has a fishing net vibe.
Davey: Resembles a Galvanised Mesh fence.
Stefan: Looks like she’s ready for the pool.
Damo: A bit much.
James: That’s quite good.
Damo: My favourite so far.
Davey: Pretty stock-standard dress. Picked a winner in my opinion.
Stefan: Really like this one. She looks like she’s genuinely enjoying herself.
Damo: Modern and different. It suits her well.
James: How come she only gets one sleeve?
Davey: Flashing the shoulder is always a good idea.
Stefan: Would definitely make me do a double take.
Damo: Very elegant and she pulls it off nicely.
James: What a rare and elegant design! A real beauty.
Davey: A richly decorated transparent piece that looks like she’s spent $76 at the craft shop and stuck it to her body.
Stefan: A combo between Egyptian goddess and my grandmother’s curtains.
Damo: Not sure about the wedding dress theme.
James: Good until you get to the bottom bit.
Davey: Fully sick. Floor-scraping and street-sweeping. 9/10.
Stefan: Not very practical. She wouldn’t be helpful in a crisis.
Damo: Classy and oriental in one, I like it.
James: Now THIS I like. I want to wear this.
Davey: Very oriental.
Stefan: I don’t think I like it.
Damo: Not a fan of the stripes.
James: Love the stripes. Not so sure about the knuckle-duster though.
Davey: Very daring and original … they’re called onesies yeah?
Stefan: I can see her undies, is that intentional?
Damo: Don’t really like it.
Davey: Resembles a wedding cake.
Stefan: I think pink is for the nightclub, not the red carpet.
James: I’d be uncomfortable if I had to wear that to a party but she seems very happy.
Davey: I think she put this on backwards.
Stefan: Love it.
James: Dynamic. I’m getting a feeling of motion. Like The Matrix.
Damo: I like the ready to party look.
Davey: 10/10 great work.