In bad news for anyone over the age of 20 and size 10, the era of the breast is over and it’s all about the midriff.
World renowned champion of women Karl Lagerfeld triumphantly announced to the world his preference for a skinny stomach over bosoms, following his latest couture show for the iconic fashion house.
“The new cleavage is the stomach,” he said.
“The upper part,” he said – describing with his half-gloved hands a bosom far more generous than those on the waifish models – “everybody did it”.
“Now we go a bit lower, and it [the stomach] is even more difficult to keep in shape.”
Thanks, Karl, you’ve just instantaneously added another layer of stress in the merry-go-round that is women’s battle for unattainable perfection.
The move to crop tops comes almost 12 months after Lagerfeld’s Chanel collection where tiny corsets were the order of the day, but the novel concept of not biting the hand that feeds you has never been his strong point.
Lagerfeld has been open about his disdain for “fat” women and once said that if he were the King of France he would have a “zero-tolerance policy on obesity.”
Still, even with this in mind, declaring war on the breasts does seem a bit farfetched given that 99.9 per cent of his clients are women.
Most adult females can at least scramble together some semblance of cleavage but a toned tummy is a lot harder to master.
The designer himself admitted that the new look would be a challenge for most and serious abdominal workouts would be essential for his fashion loving customers.
The models at the show wore the belly-baring looks, reminiscent of the 1960s free-love wardrobe for carefree teens. Lagerfeld’s high-octane clients and muses did not.
Models Vanessa Paradis, 42, and Erin O’Connor, 36, were sophisticated and, darlingly, fully dressed. Quelle horreure!
Lagerfeld’s current pet, Kristen Stewart, also showed no signs of baring her belly.
Despite Lagerfeld’s unfortunate commentary on the female form, the Garden-themed show, part of Paris Fashion Week, was nothing short of exquisite and was hailed “magic” by Women’s Wear Daily.
Pink, blue, yellow, orange and bold red were on the palette. Unadorned tweed suits in bright colours, grungy beanies, fringed trims, intricate floral beading and low-slung waists were the cuts and finishing touches of styles.
But what of the breasts? Well, they were nowhere in sight. Something Karl is going to have to reconsider if he is going to continue his reign as the head of the most prominent fashion house in the world.