Entertainment Style Crimes against fashion: 2013’s worst dressed
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Crimes against fashion: 2013’s worst dressed

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Kim Kardashian during her pregnancy

Now that the bun (a.k.a North West) is out of the oven, the reality star is killing it on the style front and Kanye West’s sartorial vision for his fiancée is clearly in full effect. However, Kim’s pregnancy wardrobe was a disaster from day one. With no clue as to how to clothe her bump, she flaunted a range of bizarre combinations that swamped her tiny frame and earned her comparisons with various members of the animal kingdom.

KIMKARDASHIANMadonna

This isn’t an age thing – at 55, the music icon has a body that would put most teenagers to shame – but we would find the combination of leotards, fishnets and top hats offensive regardless of who was wearing it. Madonna needs to learn that some things are best covered up. Yes, we’re talking mainly about her crotch.

MADONNA1Justin Bieber

Maybe we’re too old to get it. Maybe we’re too old to care. While the teenage heartthrob is undeniably handsome and talented, he does himself a disservice by dressing like a mix between Michael Jackson and Aladdin.

JUSTINBIEBER

The cast of “Girls

Just because you have a hit television show, doesn’t mean you get to throw all fashion rules out the window. Bar the flawless Allison Williams, the cast of the HBO series appear to prefer dressing themselves in recycled drapes. Surely Lena Dunham, Jemima Kirke and Zosia Mamet are now making enough money to afford a stylist, or at least some dresses that don’t resemble deflated hot air balloons.

GIRLSCAST

Miley Cyrus’ tongue

We’re not sure if a tongue can be dressed, but as Cher said when asked about the controversial pop star, “Chick, don’t stick out your tongue if it’s coated”. Ick.

MILEYTONGUEJohnny Depp

The bohemian pirate look was sexy when Depp was in his 30s. Now, he looks like the crazy homeless man down the road. Time to embrace the Coco Chanel mantra of accessorising: Look in the mirror and take one thing off before leaving the house. Or all of them.

JOHNNYDEPPLily Allen

We love you, Lily. We only want the best for you. So for God’s sake fire the delusional human being you employ as a stylist and get Rachel Zoe on board. She will know what to do.

LILY-ALLENRita Ora

The English pop star loves pattern and texture, which would be fine if she didn’t insist on combining them all in one outfit. With her catchy songs and Rihanna-esque beauty, we can’t help but lament the wasted potential.

RITAORA

Kristen Stewart

It has been a rough year for K-Stew. She dealt with the fallout from last year’s cheating scandal, broke up with her boyfriend, injured her foot and was on crutches at the Oscars. But that doesn’t explain her transformation from Balenciaga-clad It girl to female MC Hammer.

KRISTENSTEWARTBrad Pitt in casual clothing

He rocks a tux, but when it comes to airport visits and smart casual, Pitt seems to be confused. Pyjamas are for inside the home, Brad, and Kanye West wears the leather pants, not you.

BRADPITTRihanna’s mullet

Usually, when Rihanna changes her hair, she looks fabulous and prompts thousands of girls to demand copycat versions at their local salon. With that in mind, we feel compelled to issue a warning: Don’t try RiRi’s current style at home. Points to the pop star for changing it up, but lets keep the mullet where it belongs: on the head of Andre Agassi in the 90s.

RIHANNAMULLETAll images courtesy of Getty

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