The pile-on over singer Pink posting a photo of her kid enjoying life is more proof people have too much time on their hands, bile on their livers and water on their brains.
It’s quite literally whackadoodle.
Yes, social media is a schoolyard full of idiots and bullies, but Instagram has mostly seemed like the good place.
Then Pink puts up a photo of her adorable son Jameson sans nappy and the penis police are all whoo-whoo-whoo, nudie rudie! Pull over, ma’am, you’re not fit to be a mother.
Honestly, if it weren’t for the sirens of outrage, the only thing that would have stood out to me in that picture was the pelican is black (true, I am in the grip of a bit of a bird fetish, so you may want to report me, too).
But to Pink, they were loud enough that this week on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, she announced she is calling time.
“I just won’t share [my kids] any more. I won’t do it. I’m not posting pictures of them any more.”
On Ten’s The Project, host Lisa Wilkinson responded by delivering a question to Pink as an insult: “Is it naive of her to think that putting her son’s penis on social media isn’t going to get a huge backlash?”
Maybe it’s like the gold dress/blue dress ‘test’, and I saw a pelican, not a two-year-old penis. (Did I mention the pelican is black?)
For the record, Pink took down the original post, then replaced it with an edited one:
I’ve been posting photos of my daughters on Facebook pretty much since they first drew breath, back when Facebook seemed as innocent as them.
We lived in New York for a few years and Facebook was an easy way to share our lives with faraway family and friends. When they were little, the kids were happy to pose, hamming it up with hot chocolates, ice creams bigger than their heads and bombing into swimming pools.
View this post on Instagram
Thank you, my little darlings, for coming into this crazy world and making my life even crazier, funnier and so filled with love — as well as ever-growing admiration for the young women you both are already, and excitement for all the possibilities the future holds for you. I love you both so much that it hurts (and not just when we are arguing about devices). #mothersday #cleanyourrooms #angels #fairies 👼🏼👼🏼 🧚🏻♂️ 🧚♀️
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My Facebook account is private, but my Instagram is not – although I have 508 followers and Pink, with 6 million, has copped a pasting for posting in the past.
Last November, it was over a video of Jameson crying during swimming lessons. It just gave everyone a reason to gripe that drown-proofing her son was child cruelty. Bonkers.
Her husband Carey Hart drew fire in January when he posted a video of their daughter Willow, 7, at a shooting range: “Haven’t poked the parent police bear in a few days. Willz and I shooting the 22 rifle. Can hit a 12 inch pie plate from 30 yards. Started her shooting at 3yrs old.”
Hart locked and loaded that one intentionally, but Pink’s pelican post was genuinely about the innocent joy of childhood. It wasn’t like she was pimping her kids out like, oh, say a Kardashian parent.
Her fans will miss seeing her kids, but I get it. I had a weird moment last year when a photo I’d posted on my Insta account of my kids holding their poster for the climate march ended up on SBS’s Facebook page.
At first we were excited because they were proud, but when the climate trolls piled on, even though we laughed at how awful they were, it was unsettling.
In the wake of Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter Apple ticking her off last month for posting a photo of her, my daughter Grace wrote about it: “My mother … is no stranger to posting what seems like every event in the lives of me, my sister and our dog. (Mostly our dog.)”
I definitely get permission from my teenagers before I post any photos of them these days. Pink’s kids are too little for informed consent, and I reckon retreating is smart for her mental health.
Getting parenting advice from crackpots is no fun and there are clearly plenty lying in wait among those 6 million followers.
But it makes me sad: If the cranks chase the cute kids off Insta, what is left but smashed avo, barista swirls and sunsets?
At least the dogs will keep bringing the cute, especially mine.
I post nude photos of him all the time and he never, ever whines about it, even when I put his butt up there for all the world to see.
Pink, you might want to get a puppy.