America’s six most-watched TV shows of all time are Super Bowls. Is it time to address your fear of missing out?

The Super Bowl might not be the super bore you think it is.

Justin Timberlake (inadvertently, allegedly) revealing Janet Jackson’s pierced right nipple during the halftime show of Super Bowl XXXVIII in Houston in 2004 is certainly more widely recalled than the gritty three-point victory by the New England Patriots that followed that year.

• Mitchell Pearce is just a pawn in the game of corporate sport
• Why the ‘Essendon 34’ must challenge CAS ruling
• Cricket world slams ‘disgraceful behaviour’

It is a television experience like nothing else. It is less about a particularly complicated and slow-paced overseas sport than most Aussies seem to realise.

From the other side of the earth I have consumed the NFL’s version of a grand final for 24 straight years, and as I prepare to embark upon my Super Bowl Silver Jubilee, here is what I have learned.

What is the Super Bowl?

The Super Bowl is many things. It’s a party, a business, a holiday destination, a brand, a battle, an excuse to drink, a tradition, a goal, an advertising medium, a fantasy, a gambling fest and a game of American football.

It can be enjoyed on multiple levels – akin to Game of Thrones. There is always going to be those who have read all the books, study the characters, know the strategies and the motivations of the warring factions. But you can still just enjoy the dragons and sword fighting.

The Super Bowl is the final match of the National Football League’s (NFL) season.

The Carolina Panthers and the Denver Broncos will face off at Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, California – the home stadium of the San Francisco 49ers, who Australian Jarryd Hayne plays for. The match starts at 10.30am (AEDT).

If you are interested in the sport, then you are already planning your Monday as tactfully as a decorated coach.

Aussie Jarryd Hayne endured a mixed season for the 49ers. Photo: Getty

When do I start my self-imposed social media ban? Do I make it known around the office as soon I arrive that I don’t want to know any live scores? Do I work with pricks who will tell me anyway? Is it too late to pull off a believable ‘sickie’? The usual stuff.

The Super Bowl is a game

Gridiron, or American football, as a sport is similar to Australian Rules football, cricket and rugby union; on the surface it’s simple enough to explain, but once you delve deeper, you can drown. So let’s keep it simple.

Each team has four attempts to move 10 yards by running with or passing the ball. If they succeed they get another set of four chances; if they fail the other team gets the ball on the fourth play and will usually kick it as far as they can.

You score by carrying the ball into the coloured end zone (six points) which is called a touchdown. If a team scores a touchdown, they get another kick to add on an extra point. Plus, at any time a team can score by kicking a field goal through the posts (three points).

While that’s massively generalised, it’s hopefully enough to paint a blurry picture of what’s happening on the field.

The Super Bowl is not just a game

For many onlookers, the Super Bowl is a lot like My Kitchen Rules, in that the least relevant aspect of the experience is the game itself.

Casual viewers are encouraged, welcomed with open arms, and are probably a focus of the marketing efforts.

It is not necessary to have religiously consumed every minute of the pop-up kitchen rounds (or 16-game regular season) to guiltlessly indulge in the final.

The Super Bowl halftime show is without equal

I still vividly recollect the 15 minutes of brilliance that turned me into a Bruno Mars admirer just two years ago.

That performance flooded me with warm memories of Michael Jackson in 1993 at Super Bowl XXVII, an historic halftime show that proved to the planet the value of involving a world-class act in global sports events. Something that New Kids on the Block, Gloria Estefan and the Nicholls State University Marching Band just seemed to fail to hammer home in the three years prior…

Coldplay and Beyonce will take to the Levi’s Stadium stage after two quarters of action in this pending Super Bowl, which should prove impressive at the very least.

They will not be paid, though. Like buying the boss lunch, it is purely an exercise in promotion. The audience will readily compare their efforts to Super Bowl mega-acts of yesteryear that include U2, Madonna, The Who, The Rolling Stones, James Brown and Prince. The pressure is on.

The Super Bowl is number one

The presentation ceremony is always worth watching. Photo: Getty

In Australia, there exists an understandable misconception about the US sporting landscape. Some consider sports like basketball, baseball, motor racing, wrestling or mixed martial arts to be just as popular as the Yanks’ version of football.

However, it is not even close, nowhere near close – like me playing 18 holes against Tiger Woods, or Guy Sebastian outpolling Shannon Noll. Americans are mad for football.

The Super Bowl is big business

It has been widely reported that a 30-second advertisement during the television coverage in 2016 costs over $US5 million, up 11 per cent on last season. I did some quick maths and that equates to $US600 million per hour!

Incredibly, around $US10 billion will be gambled on the match, with more than 200 million people placing a bet. Each player on the winning team’s 53-man roster gets a $US102,000 bonus cheque and the average ticket price for fans is $US5020.

Microsoft paid $US400 million just to be seen as the only tablet and laptops that the NFL players and coaches so regularly utilise during gameplay. It is insane.

How to follow it

If you don’t follow the match live – then my advice would be to record the entire coverage and flick to the best bits. Watch all the pre-match and halftime entertainment.

Absorb the opening minutes of the game itself. Be captivated by the heartbreaking and elating closing moments if the score is close. Observe the presentation ceremony and catch a few of the famed Super Bowl commercials.

And above all else, just have a go.

Like my running man crush on Bruno Mars – if you allow yourself to be seduced you may be surprised.

Mark Franklin, formerly a radio host on 1116SEN, is a Melbourne-based sports journalist and presenter.