James Hird is starting to resemble an Arnold Schwarzenegger character, such is his ability to take punishment and emerge unscathed.

Hird has shown a Terminator-esque ability to survive his ASADA travails and a similar lack of emotion throughout the whole palava.

Already sporting some titanium in his face as a result of a horrific 2002 injury while playing, you half expect his eyes to start glowing red.

• James Hird says he wants Thompson by his side 
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His coaching obituary has been written so many times, yet he’s still there – smiling, laughing, concealing his shirtiness with aplomb every time a question crosses the ASADA line.

Many words have been written, but James Hird is hanging tough. Photo: screenshot

There he was on Monday, shoulder to shoulder with Mark Harvey as the new Essendon assistant coach was unveiled to Melbourne media.

Hird’s appearance in the Bombers tracksuit has taken on an almost otherworldly quality: “That guy’s still there? How can that be?”

Yet it is Hird, whose name was unutterable at Essendon’s Crichton Medal festivities, who still fronts the band.

And at best, Essendon are starting to resemble the late-model Beatles: John (Hird) and Paul (Mark Thompson) haven’t spoken in weeks, George (Harvey) is keen to do some of the writing and Ringo (Neil Craig) is probably wondering why they can’t all just get along.

At worst? Well, Johnny Rotten and Sid Vicious spring to mind.

Essendon players return to work next week. How must they be feeling about the situation?

Hird’s doing his best to reassure people he’ll still be there in 2015, but the word ‘uncertain’ doesn’t begin to describe this situation.

Surreal: Things at Bomberland are getting weirder.

Hird’s appeal over Justice John Middleton’s assertion that the ASADA/AFL investigation was lawful is due to be heard on November 10. The outcome of that will go a long way to determining how he’ll be spending his time for the foreseeable future.

“I plan to coach next year,” he said on Monday. “I’ve been told I’ll be the coach next year.”

So why does nothing at Essendon seem real? Why does everything have a slightly surreal, dream-like quality to it?

It’s fitting the club’s new operational base is out at Tullamarine. They’ve got their heads in the clouds.

Hird said he didn’t think Thompson’s performance at the best and fairest had changed their relationship at all.

And now Harvey is back in the mix – another white knight heeding the call.

“I’m not clouded in any of this,” Harvey said.

“I come in here with open eyes and I’m just here to make sure the club is stable.”

Harvey discussed how he came to find himself back with the club, and joked about the rigorous assessment program.

“I’ve had a number of psych tests online … I’ve done three or four,” he said.

After accepting a job with the Bombers, maybe another few could be in order.

Or perhaps Harvey’s decision is more astute than we give him credit for – maybe he suspects a senior job may be opening up sooner rather than later.

When asked about whether he still harboured ambitions to be the top man, Harvey issued a blunt denial.

“I’m not an ego type of person,” he said, and to his left James Hird stood listening intently.