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“No one is the suppository of all wisdom.”
Those were the grave words of our Prime Minister, tweeted and retweeted so many times since he uttered them in 2013. Repository was surely meant, but went unsaid.
Mr Abbott’s garbled phrase had the ring of Kath and Kim about it.
• Inside the diary of a word nerd
• ‘Vellichor’ and other wonderful English words
• Forty strange facts about the English language
Enough with the suppositories of effluent. Photo: Getty
“Mum, I don’t want to be rich,” says Kim in an early episode of the TV series. “I want to be effluent!”
Liquid waste indeed. We all ooze these wonky words and phrases, though some more than others, a linguist told The New Daily.
Many of these sound almost the same, which is probably why we mix them up, La Trobe University’s Dr Tanya Serry said. Literacy rates in Australia continue to fall, potentially explaining these errors.
“It does seem to cluster in certain people,” Dr Serry said.
“Young children brought up in homes where there is not a lot of talking and reading never quite develop the same language competency.”
Despite the rise of computer software to check spelling and grammar, these errors frequently go uncorrected. US-based service Correctica claims to have found 254,000 of these kinds of errors on sites across the web, including such paragons of journalism as the Washington Post, The New York Times and the BBC.
How many do you get wrong?
Nope. It’s bud.
It’s broach.
Nope, it’s rein. It refers to horses, not monarchs.
It’s trouper, referring to an acrobat who holds on for dear life.
In fact, a politician toes the line. He or she does not conform to party policy by lugging it around. Derives from athletics, where an athlete puts their toe behind the starting line before a race.
Champ is the correct verb, although it means the same. Refers to eagerness. Derives from horses which tend to chew on the bit (the part of the bridle which is in their mouth) when they are restless or eager.
Wrack means destruction. Rack means torture. Thinking very hard is torturous, but (hopefully) not destructive. Use rack.
The correct word is ‘deserts’, meaning that which one deserves. It is not skipping a more substantial dinner to eat cake and ice cream.
No juicy worms on hooks here. The correct word is ‘bated’, meaning reduced.
There may once have been a gentleman or two known by this name. We hope his parents taught him to say ‘chest of drawers’ like a good boy.
Your purposes may indeed be of the utmost intensity. But the correct phrase is ‘intents and purposes’.
I’m sure you could. When in fact you ‘couldn’t care less’, let us know. Then we’ll be really impressed.
Did you really shun our planet entirely? Or did you simply circumnavigate it like a normal, terrestrial explorer?
Scapegoat! SCAPEGOAT!
Your curiosity may have reached its maximum level. Mine, on the other hand, has simply been piqued, or tickled.
Please do stop saying goodbye. Now that you’re here, cut all the fuss, bother and ‘ado’.
Your grumbling tummy does hurt, but it prefers the archaic ‘pang’. It makes it sound fancier.
No, you most certainly should not have.
You were so much trouble that you broke havoc itself? That’s very impressive. Are you sure you didn’t just wreak, or inflict, a little havoc?
Beck and call. It’s both.
The point has a voice, and it would like you to say ‘moot’ instead. It means the point is debatable, not that it has been silenced.
Hooks do not have feelings. But wet clothes can be hung on a tenterhook. If you were stretched out like damp cloth over a hook, you’d feel anxious too.
Don’t celebrate this. No one should be without a bottle of Scotland’s finest malt. You would, however, be very happy to get off scot-free without any penalty.
No. Instead, write what you’ve learnt in chalk.
Football players may swoop on a ball, and in the process commit a foul. But a swoop that is swift and sudden is ‘fell’.
By all means, act unfazed, but don’t phase it out.
This terrible disease can leave you bed-ridden, but the body part is the prostate.
Misgivings are deeply-seated, not planted for harvest.