I saw a video circulating on social media this week in which a young woman was berating women over 40 for wearing side ponytails and pigtails.

The backlash was swift and unanimous, one woman reposting her video and curtly reminding her that those of us over 40 have earned the right to wear whatever we please, and to look however we choose.

That is, of course, the absolute truth and I think that sentiment gets stronger every decade that passes.

We are not dressing for men, we are not dressing to fit in, or impress the cool club at school, for a promotion at work, or for anyone’s approval.

We are pleasing ourselves and we don’t give a toss about what people think is age appropriate.

But having said that, there are still some things that can instantly add 15 years onto your appearance that I quite frankly wish to avoid.

Age-defying

I am not telling other women what they should wear, I am simply sharing my recent experience with button earrings and tweed coats.

I impulse-purchased a black and white tweed knee-length cocoon coat online, because in my head I was going to look like one of those models in the Chanel show, casually walking beside the Seine, hands in pockets, with long windswept hair, maybe with my lover.

When it arrived, it looked a bit cheap, so I pinned a diamante Chanel brooch onto the lapel, to jazz it up.

I wore it with a pair of trousers and a sweater and when I glanced in a mirror later, I was horrified. I had also added button-style earrings and I have short hair, so the overall effect was super-ageing.

I’ve pretty much gone off the coat, completely. But I want to get my cost-per-wear out of it, so I’m going to have to wear it with jeans and sneakers and no makeup, to make the effect less “Madame”.

I think the trick to dressing as you get older is to keep some sort of cool factor, by wearing polished pieces, but then mixing in more youthful and comfortable fashion items like Birkenstock sandals, boyfriend jeans, bandanas and slouchy, casual bags. (check out the super stylish Linda V Wright, a 70-something Texan fashionista who lives in Paris and is a superb example of this style of dressing).

Recycled tweed

I do own a classic Chanel tweed jacket, something I saved up for and splurged on when I was in my 40s. If I wore it now with a pair of trousers or a straight skirt, I would look like I’m about to deliver a lecture or disinherit my children in a boardroom meeting with lawyers present.

But I pulled it out the other night and wore it draped over my shoulders with a black and white long-sleeved T-shirt, faded jeans, black loafers and no jewellery and felt much more spritely than I did in the tweed coat/button-earring/brooch ensemble.

Linda V Wright is proving that fashion can be ageless. Photo: Linda V Wright

Yes to dressing exactly as we please as we get older. But I will continue to say no to Peter Pan collars, cowl neck sweaters, pastel crochet cardigans, swimsuits with cup inserts and hats that tie under the chin.