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Why men mistake friendliness for flirting

Straight men are more likely than straight women to fool themselves into thinking someone is romantically interested, research shows.

Mere friendliness and interest in conversation is enough to be perceived as come-ons by men, the study published in Evolutionary Psychology found.

Eighty-eight per cent of women surveyed had experienced at least one incident in the past year in which their friendliness was misinterpreted, compared to only 70.6 per cent of men.

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“The findings suggest that men and women make systematic errors in their attempt to read each other’s minds in dating and mating contexts,” said Norwegian University of Science and Technology psychologist Mons Bendixen.

There are two main theories for why this happens.

The ‘error-management theory’ says men have evolved to exaggerate sexual interest so they don’t miss out on any chances to reproduce.

Women, on the other hand, have evolved to under-perceive sexual interest, because sex with the wrong guy means risking pregnancy and child-rearing without the help of a mate, not to mention lost opportunities to procreate with other, less flaky men.

Mr Bendixen’s research also explores the ‘social-roles theory’, which says societal norms cause sexual misperception. For example, men in countries where women have little power are expected to misperceive come-ons more often.

“These errors follow the predictions of error-management theory.”

The study included 308 heterosexual university students between 18 and 30 years old.

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