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‘Maybe it’s easier to die’: Jimmy Barnes reveals his darkest moment

Jimmy Barnes revealed on Q&A how close he came to committing suicide.

Jimmy Barnes revealed on Q&A how close he came to committing suicide. Photo: ABC

Australian rock and roll legend Jimmy Barnes has revealed how close he came to taking his own life after 40 years of drug and alcohol addiction.

Barnes, reflecting on a night where he took cocaine, ecstasy, ketamine, sleeping pills and alcohol while his wife Jane slept in the next room, told the Q&A audience it was his lowest point and he wanted to end his own life.

“I walked into the room where my suitcase was and I was getting my pants on and suddenly I saw a dressing gown cord tied around a rail in the dressing room and I hadn’t remembered doing it,” he said.

“It was like watching a black and white movie. It came back to me and I remember getting out of bed and going in and thinking maybe it’s easier to die.

“I lay with a rope around my neck trying to die. It’s not that easy to die. And I don’t know why I stopped.”

Barnes said his study of Buddhism, along with his wife, helped save his life.

“Searching spiritually, part of it saved me. I was born a Protestant and when I met Jane I started looking at Buddhism,” he said.

“I’ve done a lot of work on myself over the years. I was completely unaware of how far and how damaged I was.

“Buddhism, I liked it because it made me look into myself and look for answers in myself and look for hope in myself as opposed to looking out and hoping that the Church or somebody else was going to save me.”

Watch Jimmy Barnes discuss his childhood and ongoing struggle with mental health issues:

Barnes was commended by the panel, and his friend in the audience, actor Sam Neill, for his courage to share his experience.

“I had known Jimmy very well for such a long time and none of this was apparent. And I salute Jimmy for his honesty,” Neill said.

“Thank you for being so real and raw,” said an audience member.

Barnes spoke of his upbringing, joking he was “born an alcoholic”, and how growing up surrounded with violence and abuse affects a person’s life, especially a child.

“I knew from the time I was, from eight years old I remember running away from home and sitting on the end of a jetty because there was too much going on at home that I couldn’t deal with,” he added.

“I’d sit on the end of the jetty and think maybe it would be easier to swim out. Eventually obviously, you can’t run from everything and eventually I had to stop and turn and face stuff.”

Barnes said he wanted to share his experience on how talking about your problems can make a difference.

“That was a huge step for me. I always thought if you go and ask for help, I was like a bit of a bloke and ask for help and it’s a sign of weakness,” he told Q&A.

“I can look back now and look at the day when I started seriously asking for help and trying to get help was probably the first day where I showed any courage.”

Jimmy Barnes begins his 30-date national tour to accompany the release of book, Working Class Man, the second instalment in his deeply-personal memoirs, on March 15.

For assistance call Lifeline Australia on 13 11 14 

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