There can be no winner in this season of The Bachelorette, because no man – or woman – is deserving of the bogan goddess that is Sophie Monk.
The former reality star may be the most likeable woman in the country if the social media reaction surrounding her dating show debut is anything to go by.
Hugging her beloved pet dog Rupert and doing her best broad Aussie accent, the blonde bombshell lumbered her way into our collective hearts.
“” the 37-year-old said through tears, before admitting her Hollywood career had put her hopes of a family on hold.
That’s not a word Soph, but you know what? It should be.
Almost on cue, in walks Apollo, the 24-year-old magician who, despite sounding terrible on paper, is a Disney prince of a man.
She claims to be a terrible flirt, but Sophie has a response to everything. Gone are the awkward pauses we’ve come to expect from the usually painful Ten series, replaced with genuinely hilarious banter.
The next contender, vineyard owner Jarrod, brings some grapes for him and Sophie to crush, and she’s delighted.
“I love wine.
— #BacheloretteAU (@BacheloretteAU) September 20, 2017
Sophie seems genuinely surprised at the amount of interest she’s receiving, and counters compliments with wide-eyed gratitude.
James, a sweetly nervous financial advisor, is an early contender, turning women everywhere into mush with his stilted smile before getting lost between the car and the mansion – adorable.
Another clear favourite is Luke, the handsome business culture consultant (whatever that means) from NSW. At 33, he’s the right age for Sophie and his salt-and-pepper hair earns him a comparison to George Clooney.
There’s the requisite arrogant idiot – entrepreneur Blake who claims he would “only marry a hot girl”. And then there’s Ryan, who is another breed entirely.
“I’ve got very high expectations and standards,” he declares, before grilling poor Sophie about her intentions and asking why her past relationships haven’t worked out. Goodbye, Ryan.
Sophie isn’t shaken by his piggery and enters the cocktail party in trademark fashion.
have something you want to say,” Osher begins.
Matty J and Richie are looking positively wooden at this point.
Could write an essay on how Sophie Monk owning & breaking the artifice of #BacheloretteAU is the best thing to ever happen to this franchise
— Marc Fennell (@MarcFennell) September 20, 2017
The banter intensifies into proper conversation. Sophie asks the group if any of them have ever been cheated on.
One guy, Jourdan, starts crying and Sophie immediately begins comforting him, before he admits he’s never actually been cheated on, he’s just sad at the thought of it. Hold on – what?
Sophie, ever the class act, excuses him gracefully, saying he’s under a lot of pressure and is very sensitive. She even keeps him around at elimination time because, let’s face it, he’s the resident weirdo.
She ends up booting a man named Chad and, coincidentally, another guy who looks exactly like Chad Kroeger, the lead singer of Nickelback. She sends them off with a warm hug, sincerely telling them: “I’ve loved you being here”.
— Adam Joseph (@AdamJosephSport) September 18, 2017
How about all of Australia, Soph? Because you’ve got them wrapped around your little finger.