Don’t throw away your old denim duds – they could soon fetch you hundreds of dollars among the trendy fashion set.
Distressed is the new cool according to American retailer Nordstrom, which is selling a pair of men’s jeans covered in mud for $A597.95.
Described as “heavily distressed”, the pants – from New York-based luxury denim brand PRPS – apparently embody “rugged Americana” and show “you’re not afraid to get down and dirty”.
Except that, well, you are. Because you’d rather buy pre-soiled pants than to get out into the dirt and do it yourself.
Predictably, those not in the fashion industry are in uproar over the steep price of the jeans, which are the latest in a series of bizarre fashion items that seem more like pranks than trends.
“Nietzsche sees us as decadent when our moral system ignores the essential truths of life i.e. buying $425 jeans with fake mud from Nordstrom,” one Twitter user joked.
Other savvy social media users have offered to dirty up your clean jeans for a far more reasonable fee.
Some have taken actual offence at the existence of the pants.
American TV host Mike Rowe – who helms the series Dirty Jobs, which showcases labourers in disgusting or dangerous careers – slammed the pants as the latest assault in America’s “war on work”.
“The Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans aren’t pants,” Rowe posted on his Facebook page to his 4.7 million followers.
“They’re not even fashion. They’re a costume for wealthy people who see work as ironic – not iconic.”
The steep price point is not unusual for the brand, which makes its products in Portugal, and you can even purchase a muddy denim jacket for $597 to match.
Sorry ladies, but you are not immune from the perils of fashion going too far either.
Also this week, British retailer Topshop released a pair of completely see-through plastic jeans for the bargain price of $94.
The arrival of the jeans on Topshop’s online store elicited mass confusion, with people questioning whether the retailer was “feeling okay”.
Unfortunately for Australian shoppers, the jeans are not available Down Under.
You can, however, purchase a more demure version of the jeans for $109.95, which only feature clear plastic panels at the knees. Who doesn’t want to show off their knees? Such an enticing body part.
In what’s been a strange couple of weeks for fashion, on Wednesday Swedish furniture chain Ikea responded to luxury label Balenciaga emulating one of its designs in its latest collection.
The French fashion house debuted a bright blue leather tote for $2610 that bore a striking resemblance to Ikea’s $1 plastic Frakta shopping bag.
The superstore took full advantage of the comparisons to launch a tongue-in-cheek advertising campaign about how to spot a “real” Frakta bag.
Dead giveaways include: if it rustles when shaken, if it can be cleaned with a garden hose and it costs only $1.