I attended two black tie events last week that were certainly outside of the fashion arena, one being the Air New Zealand Wine Awards in Auckland, which was not exactly a hardship.

The dress code for black tie often throws people, but in essence, for men it means a black suit, best case scenario a tuxedo.

Black tie (or cravat noir in French) also generally demands a bow tie, a white shirt, and a pair or nicely polished black shoes.

For women, it would most usually suggest a floor-length dress, but we have been happily pushing those boundaries for years, and it is perfectly acceptable to wear calf-length, or an evening coat, a tuxedo or even glamorous silk lounging pyjamas or a beaded or sparkling pantsuit.

Not, however, a short dress. That is for when the code is cocktail.

This is where I admit that I don’t own a long dress. I didn’t even get married in one (I wore a beige silk Armani pantsuit and eloped).

I bought a long blue silk pleated dress last year to wear to a posh party, but then decided that it would be more useful taken up to mid calf length and worn with brogues or trainers.

My go-to outfit for black tie, especially if I’m travelling, is a pair of black silk trousers (either wide-leg or narrow) and a silk evening blouse in cream or blush, sheer, ruffled or pleated.

I just then add earrings, evening sandals and a dark lip. If it’s cold, a black or khaki trenchcoat thrown over the top looks very chic, at any age.

Karlie Kloss nailed a black-tie dress code at a gala in France in May 2016> Photo: Getty

I used to envy the men, with their strict dress code that leaves little room for error, but I’ve been revising that point of view.

So many men don’t seem to own a black suit that fits, other than those who have a profession or lifestyle that includes regular formal events.

Men still hire suits. A male colleague confided to me recently that he shares a tuxedo with a friend which genuinely shocked me.

I very kindly and tactfully screeched “ What? Do you share the trousers? Ew!”

As I watched all the male winners at the wine dinner get up on stage, mostly swamped in their one-size-too-big suits which in some cases had seen better days, I wondered if it wouldn’t have been more stylish for them to wear what they felt comfortable in.

These were Kiwi wine growers.

Unpretentious, salt-of-the-earth guys who probably looked better in their everyday clothes. What is this expectation for them to conform?

Rockstar Brandon Flowers is a great example for men trying to get their black tie attire spot on. Photo: Getty

Black tie is normally called for if an event is held after 7pm, and a sit-down dinner is involved, but would it be so wrong to relax the dress code and invite invitees to wear what they want?

The more I thought about it, the more I decided no. Dress codes are important.

Award nights are designed to be special, a reason to get excited, an occasion to be marked, just as are weddings, christenings, school formals.

In fact, they are some of the last events that we have as a society that can demand people make a little effort.

We left that idea behind for plane travel (I watched, with extreme judgment I may add, as a barefoot young woman rubbed body oil all over herself in the departure lounge in Sydney last week, but that’s another story).

Making an effort still matters, and the idea of rising to the occasion is a notion worth holding onto.

Just as is the investment in one good suit that is tailored to fit you perfectly. And no trouser sharing please.