Need advice? The gospel according to Gwyneth

Susannah Guthrie
Mar 19, 2015, updated Mar 19, 2015

With two kids, a successful film career, a conscious uncoupling and a thriving online business under her belt, Gwyneth Paltrow could be considered something of a guru.

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Sure, she might frequently top “most hated” lists, but with a reported $140 million to her name, Paltrow clearly has some idea what she’s doing.

We enlisted her past wisdom (yep, she actually said this stuff) to provide guidance for those facing common life dilemmas.

Dear Gwyn,

I have three kids, am a single mum and work in a really stressful office job while my kids are at school. I was just wondering how you maintain a work/life/family balance? I feel constantly tired and beaten down by life.

Sincerely,

At Breaking Point.

Dear At Breaking Point,

It’s much harder for me.

I think it’s different when you have an office job, because it’s routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening.

When you’re shooting a movie, they’re like, ‘We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,’ and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult.

I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it’s not like being on set.

Chin up,

Gwyn.

Hi Gwyn,

I want to go on a nice holiday with my husband for our anniversary. Do you have any tips for getting the most out of a trip without spending too much money?

Thanks,

Bonnie Voyage.

Dear Bonnie Voyage,

When you go to Paris and your concierge sends you to some restaurant because they get a kickback, it’s like, “No. Where should I really be? Where is the great bar with organic wine? Where do I get a bikini wax in Paris?”

Hope that helps,

Gwyn.

Hello Gwyn!

I’m 16 and kissed a boy last week who makes me really nervous. We have been texting a bit and I really like him…I was just wondering, how do you know if you’re in love?

Thanks,

Kiss me Kate.

Dear Kiss Me Kate,

When I pass a flowering zucchini plant in a garden, my heart skips a beat.

Love,

Gwyn.

Hi Gwyn,

I’m a new dad and I have no idea what I’m doing! My wife is working part-time and I get left alone with the kids (we had twins) and feel a bit lost.

Any good tips for keeping the kids happy and under control?

Cheers,

Desperate Dad.

Dear Desperate Dad,

I drank like crazy. How else could I get through my day?

Also, I’ll probably get kicked out of our school for admitting this, but I let Apple stay home yesterday. I just needed to be with her.

We went out to lunch, we went to the beauty salon, we were together.

Hope that helps!

Gwyn.

Hi Gwyn,

You’re a great businesswoman. Lately I’ve been lacking in motivation at work. Any tips for refreshing my brain and getting inspired?

Thanks,

Brain Blocked.

Dear Brain Blocked,

Think about kicking the week off with a colonic – they definitely get things going.

Good luck!

Gwyn.

Dear Gwyn,

I’ve been married for 20 years and things have felt a bit monotonous lately. How can I jazz up my romantic life?

Help!

The Good Wife.

Dear Good Wife,

The real golden ticket here is the Mugworth V-Steam: You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al.

It is an energetic release – not just a steam douche – that balances female hormone levels.

If you’re in LA, you have to do it.

Enjoy!

Gwyn.